erased;

True?

2007-12-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

hello!
longggg time MIA uh?
Haha:)

RED camp was a blast, definitely.
awesome people,
delicious meals provided,
yay.
credits to EVERYONE,
who made this camp a success!
GRINS. :)
Love centurions the most,
HAHAHA.
biased, but thats my tribe mah!
: DD

Clinical attachments.
Eh,
its not all about cleaning backsides k.
HAHAHA,
there's more than that!(:
Of course,
I say here,
also kind of weird lah,
OKAY, disgusting actually.
lets just say,
I've learnt alot,
really alot.
From appreciating ppl,
to living life to the fullest.
Treasure the times you have.
Really,
because you wont know,
when and where you will collapse.

If you are still reading until here,
I thank you for taking your time,
and really,
love you people.
(:

I've joined back a church,
do you say join back?
well, haha,
i dont know.
Contradiction.
Lots i've felt,
but shant say it here.
I just feel,
i'm somehow putting on a mask.
like a clown in a circus.
What's truth, what's a lie,
what's beyond the surface,
I'll ponder about it.
I feel, pretty empty now.

I've tried,
and I'm really, really tired.
my energy has zapped up,
my determination is not there anymore.
People say.
: hey dear, look forward!
there's much more in store for you.
You never know.

Perhaps yes,
I'll never know what lies there.
My past,
our past.
It's smth important,
smth significant to me.
But is it worth any memory to you?

that was really the last straw.
SNAP.

I feel like,
im talking as if,
im a confused patient.
random topics,
random feelings.

thats all for now.
(:

Back! :)

2007-06-10T06:14:00.000-07:00

Yope peeeps. (:

Hmm.
Paiseh!
1st: com crashed.
2nd: BUSY AH. T.T

Okay.
So here's school!
Talk about life.
Its:
school and work.

School?
1. Chiong projects. ( Note projectS )
2. Practical Test.
3. Common Test. ( KAN CHIONG )

So far, thats school.
And of cos,
I met great people!

1. My P16/T08 love! :)
2. Vball people! ( Esp. Jolene, Wei Xiong )
3. SHIRLEY HAN SHU JUAN!
4. HS friends!
- Jemaine
- Xue qi ( NU-ER )
- Shirley Goh ( GUAI SUN )
5. Wappo! ( Best people i've met! (: )

So life's been,
a rollercoaster ride?
Yep.
Cant say its great,
yet i cant say its bad.
(:

1. HS delegate!
Together with guai sun and gemaine!
Love em! (:

2. NP ambassador!
Through interviews, I've made it.
Why I join this?
A platform for me to reach out to secondary sch students.
A place, I get to LEARN.
I know, i've began to tread on the learning journey. :)
I know it will not be easy,
I know it will be physically, perhaps emotionally draining,
I know i will get busy,
But i too know.
It will be worth it.
So bless me, with faith!
Hang on there shirley, you'll make it there. :)

Hmm.
2 weeks break now!
Ambass camp 14 to 16 june.
Thereafter, it'll be CA!
Pray i'll be fine.
Haha! : D
Exciting!

Okay.
I'll blog more often,
provided my comp is not throwing tantrums.
Lol! :)

I miss them.
Really, I do.
Sigh.

Knew it.

2007-03-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

you know?

friends make a part of me.
without them,
i wont be here.

i just went online.
happily.
with the intention of asking my friends out.
one of them actually had her bday.
i wanted to celebrate together with them.
u know?
ever since O' level results are released,
i hardly talk to them, let alone seeing them.
i thought,
next week is a vvvv good chance for me.
to me,
both of them play a VERY important role.
i emphasise, very.
i know they can do without me,
i know to them, im insignificant.
i know, yet i dont care.
i know, im just the odd one out.
i know, yet i dont bother.
why?
becos i cant do without them.
even we have alr graduated.
they are still a part of me.
but i guess,
they dont know.

she told me,
she wanted to meet her some other day.
which meant,
she wanted to meet her alone.
i thought of having lunch together,
sitting down and catch up.
but apparently,
it's just on my part,
it's just my wishful thinking.
as i re-read what she typed,
it felt daggers stabbing me,
again and again.
as much as i want to meet up,
i said, "its okay, forget wad i said bah."

those words,
evoked tears that blurred my vision.
i sat in a daze, in front of the com,
before typing this entry out.

so..
i mean nothing to you?

my heart went downhill.

i guess she wont be reading this too.
even if she did,
hope she will understand.

fug world.
fug graduation.
or rather,
im a friend,
not worth to be remembered.
thats what i really think so.

bye.

leyshann

2007-02-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

wow.
been a long time since i've blogged.
welcome back to usual blogging.

MIA for so long,
due to my fantastic com.
hahahah.
apparently,
this com came with MANY viruses.
oh my, oh my.
friends who have talked to me thru msn,
will understand.
hahahah, sorry guys.
i know how irritating it is. :D

now, my com's okay.
my blog is filled with dust alr.
hahah, oh well.
i shall start my first entry in 2007.

well well,
so much happened.
its now 2007. ( im very slow i know, LOL )
and ermm.
got back O level results.
cant say i did well,
but im okay with it.
life's like that.
let's just say,
so long i get into nursing,
im a happy shirley. : D
if not,
boo to life.
hah. (:

yes yes, i got a new job.
at scarlet hotel.
not easy, yep.
but well,
who said it was anyway?
hahahah.
come to think of it,
i wld love to study sometimes.
u know,
its better taking a pen,
than taking a wine opener everyday.
but well,
i learnt alot during this period.
so i guess, i didnt lose?

ever since my sec4 life is over,
ever since i started working,
i found myself very lifeless.
without an aim; direction-less.
i've tried so hard, came so far.
yet, there is nothing i can do.
somehow, everything disappeared.
i nvr met up with my friends at all.
without a trace,
they are gone.
and we, just moved on.
u go that way, i go this way.
a pity, this is just part of life.
and again, there is nothing much i can do.

i find myself,
racing against time.
thats dreadful yeh know.
im dragging myself,
and time is catching up.

perhaps,
i've alr lost to time.

shann

2006-12-08T20:47:00.000-08:00

yoppies!
: D

hahahahs.
duno how yoppies came about.
but it jus means: hellos! * GRINS *
weird uh? LOL. (:

hmms.
so, O's over? xD
rubbish,
its been over ages.
psps, so long den i update.
thanks to the taggers!
mwahs! : D
you all kept my blog alive!
* SMILES *

seems like im in a good mood uh?
not exactly lahs.
but for me now,
its see one day, live one day.
LOL.

hmms.
lets see.
i went to chalet on 28 - 30 nov!
with these wonderful people:
sy, yl, ken, rich, px, yq, jevon, audy, yx, xanney, joanne!
hmms.
to be truthful,
i didnt have much fun during the first day.
shant elaborate much here.
but still, my bottom line is:
i love them very much, really.
(:
but! i had lotsa fun on the last day!
k-box! loves! <3
LOL, it was hilarious.
really!
a pity, some cldnt join us. :and and!
thanks ALOT to 4E2 people!
love you too! : D
esp:
xinni, pris.c, shi hui, gui fang!
love them love them! (:
mwahs!
and the guys there too,
like hong leng, brandon, qi ming, timothy.
oh, and wen yao!
thanks for offering me the grapes!
i was v surprised, and happy.
hahah, yeah. thanks! (:
though he wont see this,
but still, yeah. * grins *

rested for about 2 days?
den off i go~
to where? * looks around *
TO GENTING~
hahahahah!
my first trip overseas!
okay lah, thought v near,
but can out of sing,
im vv happy alr. ((:
this time,
i went with my relatives!
* SMILES *
its been ages since we gathered.
hahahah!
of cos, i had lotsa fun too!
i played those games.
clap for me!
LOL, becos i have height phobia.
but they encouraged me to play.
LOL, in the end,
i play till v shuang liddat.
den my uncle said this:
wah, heng we buy for you the ticket,
u see u play until so happy.
LOL.
my mum went to play with us too.
clycone, the roller coaster!
omg omg.
SO HIGH.
but vv fun! <3
yepps!
den shopped around.
hmms.
oh!
i played a role of nanny too!
darrel cheoh xun kai!
sweet aye the name? xD
the first day ahs,
he DAO me siah. =.=.
i talk to him, he dun wan ans me.
but being the stubborn one,
i refused to give up.
LOL, keep on ' ka-chiao-ing' him.
in the end,
he let me hold his hand!
LOL, even hugged me uh.
so touched! : D
and we got v close. (:
hmms, den relatives said to him:
eh ur BAO MU, shirley bao mu.
LOL.
den he say:
no, she shirley JIE JIE.
LOL!
laugh out loud man.
he likes to say:
oops! oh man!
CUTEEEEEEE!
i took some photos with him,
but the camera aint mine.
heheheh!
if i have the photos,
i'll probably post it up.
* GRINS *
plus!
i waited for the sunrise!
the last day.
hahahah.
i stayed from 3 - 6 dec!
yeah, it was real COLD.
lucky got jacket! : D
this is jus the summary.
hahahah!
want more info,
come look for me!
i'll tell you more. (:

over there,
while playing,
i realised smth.
i miss my friends,
beyond words i can say.
every single one of them,
from sec 1 until present ones.
i suddenly realise,
how much i miss my sec 1 class.
1-06.
yeah, things got ugly for us.
but thats the past alr.
they wont see this,
but really, i miss them.

i miss 4-E3 too!
yeah, also beyond words.
just, i really miss them.

sigh.
i rarely talk to some of people,
whom are v dear to me.
i may be nothing to them,
but they are the world to me!
its okay,
i'll just keep it in my heart,
that i love them always!
im jus a call, sms, msg away.
any day, any time.
hugs! (:

yepps!
xmas is coming!
be happy people!

life's hard.
life's like a rollercoaster ride.
but live it well.
you will be okay.
the sun will shine again, someday.
i'll hold your hand,
till the end of time! (:

i'm working now alr!
hahahah!
cuts on my hand,
aches everywhere,
but i tell myself:
its okay,
hope tmr will be better.
have faith! (:

lovely people!
i hafta get ready for work soon!
tckare and loves! <3

i'll be your comfort,
do you hear what i say?
take your sweet, sweet time.
i'll be here, when you change your mind.
take your sweet, sweet time.
i'll be here, for you baby, in a time.

hahahah! toodles! mwahs! : D
(:

shann

2006-11-18T07:31:00.000-08:00

back?
(:

just a short post.
left with just one more paper.
my secondary school days,
will be over.
amazing, no?

ups and downs,
laughter and pain.
stories, memories,
how wild they were,
how sweet they were.
(:

im rubbish-ing,
but haha,
thats my forte?
(:

it's over,
but not much joy.
dont know why,
but i'll figure it out.
actually no,
i know why.
yep.

over and done,
wad's left behind?
scars,
tears draining down your cheeks;
water cascading down a waterfall.
normally,
we will like to only remember the happy stuff,
forget the unhappy ones.
however,
its easier said than done, no?

i'll remember,
but i guess you have forgotten.
i'll just have to comfort myself,
by thinking: its okay.
perhaps its living in denial,
but wadever it is,
for now i guess,
thats the only solution.

saying goodbye.
the hardest part.
the fondest part.
because i guess,
you'll finally know,
how much you cherish,
whether its people,
or events.

will blog a full one,
bout these 4 years.
friends?
i'll thank them personally.
(:
given a day to thank,
definitely,
it wldnt be enough.
to type it out here,
it will not be enough too.

so much to say,
so much to feel.
so much to do,
yet so much undone.

in the end,
things are still the same.
where it had gone wrong,
i've got no clue.
perhaps,
i'll just have to let it go.
let you soar,
let you fly high.

short post?
haha,
i just let my feelings flow.
hands typing,
wad the heart has to say.
(:

emo post,
pardon me.
(:

lucks for people taking papers on monday.
your final run.
go for it.
(:

shann

2006-11-03T06:05:00.000-08:00

hey! (:

wah.
few days to the battle.
> lets jia you!
hahahahah. : DD
people ah,
remember to add ur petrol to max!
: D
dont let the petrol leak! ((:
and and.
GOOD LUCK!
anyone taking the O's! : D

mug hard!
that shall be the last.
hahahahahah!
love you people! ((:
<333

okay.
i gotta go alr.
heheheh.
be happy people!
* BEAMS *

shann

2006-10-23T06:20:00.000-07:00

life's been pretty bad.
:
sorry mingest!
really really sorry. :im sorry.
because of my recklessness,
i caused you to lose your treasures.
its okay to be angry,
but still,
im really sorry.
i know what's done is done,
but still, im sorry.
im left with nothing,
but the word sorry.
sincere apology.
:

thats all what i wish to say.
about my life.
i used to think.
if i can be happy,
lets just be happy.
but i come to realise,
im nvr good at this.
i thought i can,
but i cant.
im stressed to the brim,
i tired to conceal it by laughing,
laughing it away.
but im waiting,
for the day i let it out.
hah.

all the best people.

come to think of it,
were you ever. ever proud of me.
not even once i guess.

shann

2006-10-21T04:33:00.000-07:00

hey.
im back. (:

hm.
sci pract just over.
yayness?
one paper down! : D

roughly 2 weeks to O's.
wow.
time passed VERY quickly.
blink of an eye,
O's will be over.
and.
that will be my big break.
(:

as i browsed through my past files,
memories started flooding my mind.
past conversations, past pictures.
i started recalling.
how i met strangers,
how we became friends thereafter,
how much we went through,
and much more.
its nice to know,
i've gained much friendship(:

i wish to thank everyone personally,
who made my sec life so much better,
far better than i expected,
who made my life so beautiful,
who made my life so colourful.
but that will have to wait.
i must work hard for the coming O's.
(:

yeah.
everything will have to wait.
after O's.

my friends out there,
all the best for upcoming O's!
strive on, dont quit. (:

i may sound cheezy,
but yeah.
i love all of you.
(:

shann

2006-10-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

my graduation night(:

so much things to say.
so much to feel.
(:

yeah.
i've finally graduated!
throughout these 4 years.
fair share of cries and smiles(:

i believe,
even though we may part,
we are still as one class! 4E3(:
and of cos. as one batch; class of 2006(:

wad can i say other than it was a fabulous night?
our school; where we first met.
our classroom; where we first bonded.
all it took was just one smile to be accquainted.
(:

these 4 years were nvr easy; at least for me.
i had major ups and downs.
i had times where i fell down and cldnt get up.
without my friends, teachers.
i will not be here typing this. (:

i just want to say.
thanks a million to everyone out there!
i really respect and love you.
from the bottom of my heart(:
my sincere gratitude to all of you!
<333

though goodbye is always the hardest word,
im glad we ended it with a happy note(:
of course,
our friendship shall go a long way; as long as it can.
((:

im sad to leave my friends.
but then.
im happy that my friends have all grown!
from boys to girls,
we are ladies and gentlemen((:
we are all in this together!
<3
lets work hard for our major O's!
and we shall enjoy! : D

tckare my dears;
shirley loves all of you!
<3

none shall be forgotten(:

lets hold hands;
till the end of time! ((:

and finally;
happy graduation! (:

as we go on;
we remember.
all the times we had together.
as our lives change;
come whatever.
we will still be, friends forever.

((:

shann

2006-09-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

hmm.
quiz 1: tagged by jian.

7 weird facts/habits/things about me:
1. I sleep with 2 blankets, without fan usually.
2. I tend to be too engrossed thinking some issues.
3. I'm kinda of a perfectionist at times.
4. When hearing loud noises, I will get tensed up.
5. I like to be alone sometimes.
6. I can go crazy at times when having fun, v serious when work.
7. My palms will sweat alot when I'm nervous.

lols. I'm kinda weird lah. (:

quiz 2: tagged by jian.

5 random facts about me:
1. RCY is what I like.
2. I'm stubborn.
3. I like playing sports too.
4. I wish to travel around the world; helping people.
5. I wanna venture into medical field;nursing.

5 things which scares me:
1. When my exam results deprove.
2. When I can't catch up with the class in studies.
3. When loved ones leave me.
4. When I do not do my best.
5. Illness coming back.

5 songs I listen to:
1. Concrete angel.
2. I'm your angel.
3. Best in me.
4. Start of something new.
5. Against all odds.

5 things I like(material):
1. Bed.
2. Handphone.
3. Notes/letters/cards people received.
4. Photos.
5. Computer.

5 things i say the most:
hm. dun have bah. pretty mixed. (:

5 people to do this:
anyone(:

Hmm.
yep.
what's in for today?
i went to renci hospital w/ shi hui n aili(:
its nice to recall the past.
2 years ago. not exactly.
18 sept 2004.
we passed out from HNS.
(:
and i remembered this:
keep the passion of volunteerism burning!
i'll remember this for life.
(:
yep.
talked to uncle goh!
he told us to work hard in studies.
be it O's or poly.
like a father(:
played mastermind for awhile.
v fun! : D
thereafter. we went to feed the patients.
as for me.
i went to feed.
the one i usually fed two years ago.
(:
den talked to the auntie.
she's blind, yet optimistic.
blind at the age of 20 plus.
i bet it wasnt easy for her.
she suddenly went blind.
eye by eye.
i'm glad she takes it in her stride!
and now.
she's 50 plus.
yayness!
talked to her for a long tym. ((:
i enjoy chatting with her!
just like my mother. (:
time passed by vv quickly.
left renci bout 7.
yep.
after O's.
i'll make it a point to visit them often.
i will. (:
we were thinking.
let's go back on xmas day.
i'm sure they will be v glad! ((:

recently.
illness coming back alr.
hope it will not worsen bah.
i'm in pain while typing.
lol. (:

tckare people.
shirley stops here. (:

shann

2006-09-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

im back! (:

hmms.
yeah.
hiatus for one month?

loads to blog about.
: D
be patient with me here. (:

yada.
one month.
hmm.
PRELIMS!
well. its not really a disaster.
but.
hmms. guess i wont do well bah. :at least. i did my best alr.
like for a.maths.
my palms no longer sweat so much.
a sign. where i have confidence.
which is good? (:

yep.
oh yah.
a funny incident happened phy tuition.
i was wearing my pioneer batch sc t-shirt.
behind it has the words ' student councillor '.
so yeah. this guy named alex; jurong sec guy.
he happened to sit behind me.
behind got a table mah.
den end of tuition alr.
we needed to return rough paper back.
den arh. victor sat beside me.
he called vic. but vic nvr hear. -.-.
apparently. he didnt know my name.
den arh.
he said' student councillor'.
i was packing my stuff.
den i heard that.
i was. o.0. who's that?
den i turned ard.
LOL.
he is calling me.
pass the rough paper mah.
LOL?
funny siah.
duno my name. den call me student councillor.
creative! or rather. smart eh? : D
den a.maths lesson. also same class mah.
also end of lesson. pass rough paper also.
LOL.
this time.
if i wasnt wrong.
he said, ' shirley '.
LOL.
now he knows my name.
funny eh?
hm. probably to me only bah.
if you were there. maybe you will agree. (:

yepp. thats one thing i wanna share.
back to prelims.
its over alr.
left one month to O's.
like. wow.
time passes v fast uh?
hmm.
yeah.
time stops for no one.
((:
must pia alr.
serious pia-ing.
at least just for one month.
before i face the last battle.
(:

hmm.
i received my award on 13th sept.
haas.
the singa mascot v funny siah!
gentle pat minister's head.
LOL!
den got this pri sch boy.
we will first pose with the minister.
that's the first photo.
den later. remained on stage.
den group photo.
so arh. this boy.
he literally posed for the cam!
LOL.
den got the twist and stuff.
cute leh! ((:
well.
child of innocence(:
to be able to rep the sch.
i believe.
everyone that day.
was happy! (:
i am too.
i know.
without my friends appreciating wad i did.
i wont be there. (:
A big thank you to all of you! >3 (:

then ytd hoh.
this bro mingest arh.
say call me at 10pm.
but he still at orchard.
LOL.
nvm lah.
birthday boy mah.
let him be king for a day.
: D
met him at 11.20pm.
i wanted to laugh lah.
why? because.
everytym he also wore pink.
-.-.
nice. but LOL.
everytym also pink.
LOL?
his hands. presents everywhere.
AISEH.
presents leh.
: D
okay lah.
ps hoh.
i didnt give anything practical.
except food and cards. (:
hope you lyk them though!
wad i wanna say.
its written there. : D
thus,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO. : D

today arh.
chem/phy paper 1.
okay lah.
can do ((:
and that marks the end of prelims!
*YAYNESS*

but next wk results.
sad liao later.
(:
ahhh. well.
exams mah.
wad do we expect?
all As?
(:

okay!
i think my post is v long alr.
i'll share tml? ((:
tml kinda emo post. lol. (:
hmms.
peeps still taking prelims.
JIA YOU! (:
dont give up yup! : D

and the rest.
jia you for O's! (:
lets study hard!
and enjoy the fruit of our labour!
: D

tckare girls and boys! (:
be happy AND healthy!

super-mega smile everyone! (:

shann

2006-08-20T05:42:00.000-07:00

last post got new updates! (:

hmm.
yeah.
short post?

the blog will be on hiatus. ((:
till prelims are over.
and.
till i sort my thoughts out.
((:

so yep.
good luck to my dear friends.
be it prelims or just tests.
good luck people! (:

sec 4 peeps.
lets work hard yep! ((:
jia you jia you! (:
have faith. : D

so hmms.
shirley misses all of you!
tckare people((:
and and.
stay healthy + happy! ((:

you can study.
you can mug.
but.
remember to SMILEEEEE((:
and of cos.
EAT! : D

wish me luck too yep! (:

till then.
let the moments replay.
(:

>3 shirley; (:

16 years. (:

2006-08-13T04:41:00.000-07:00

hmm.
long hiatus.
(:

so. yup.
finally 16. ((:

by order:

msn wishes ( 13th aug ) :-
1. ting wei; dear msn friend! : D
2. caroline; dear darling! : D
3. timothy; dear friend! : D
4. wei jian; dear msn friend! : D
5. madeleine; dear nu-er! : D
6. gervina; dear 2nd laogong! : D
7. roxanne; dear xiao shan! : D
8. richie; dear xiao qiang! : D
9. ms hafida; dear teacher cum friend! : D
10. melinda; sweet junior! : D
11. xinni; dear 1st laogong! :D
12. tyty; dear junior! : D
13. beng hwa; dear bro/msn friend! : D
14. joanna; dear junior! : D
15. steven; dear junior! : D
16. susanna; dear junior! : D
17. tee yang; dear junior! : D
18. li huan; dear nu-er! : D
19. kee teng; dear junior! : D

msn wishes (in advance) :-
1. feez; dear ahh bu! : D
2. kerina; jia ying aka nana! : D
3. kai xian; dear friend! : D
4. qi ming; dear friend! : D
5. kim man; dear friend! : D

tags:-
1. sara; dear junior! : D
2. kai xian; dear friend! :D
3. kar yan; dear nu-er! : D
4. madeleine; dear nu-er! : D

friendster testimonials:-
1. caroline; dear darling! : D
2. ms hafida; dear teacher cum friend! : D
3. shi hui; dear HNS friend! : D
4. kar yan; dear nu-er! : D

gifts; birthday wishes:-
1. vv cute teddy. i name it JOY((: + card : D
from: aud/yx/xanne/yq/rich/px/ken (:

2. vv nice wind chime! : D
from: pei zhen (:

3. autograph book with a vv sweet cover! + companion : D
from: caroline (:

4. kinder bueno + slurpee + card : D
from: ken (:

5. a vv lovely picture! ( two smiles + happy birthday! ) : D
from: steven (:

6. two vv cute tortises (PEACE and HOPE) + choco + letter : D
from: feez (:

7. self-baked cookies (YUM!) + stars + letter in a lovely box : D
from: melinda(:

8. cow hp pouch + lovely scholar pig money bank : D
from: jaslyn (MEEP) : D

9. lovely cushion (i think the disney char is minnie?) : D
from: huey lee/eileen/shermin/zoey : D

**: those who remembered my birthday but i didnt list you down, i thank you from the bottom of my heart! ((:

haas.
msn friends who bother to remember!
esp. nana;ting wei; wei jian; beng hwa bro
thanks thanks! ((:

and erm. yeah.
lols.
my family too! ((:

muahahas.
this entry.
is dedicated to all of you - my sunshines! : DD
thanks for being sucha sweet people! ((:
happy pills. : D

shirley loves all of you! : DD
<333333 ((:

happy sixteen (:
welcome to the NC 16 world.
HEH. : DD

tada(:

shann

2006-07-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

hey.
back.

long hiatus.
not really. just busy.

involved in speech day rehearsal.
prelims just 4 weeks away.
shudder to think about it.

turning 16 soon.
not thrilled about it.
just.
i grow another yr older.
more challenges to face.

sometimes.
i guess im just making things difficult.
not for anyone.
but for myself.
i dont know why man.
for wad i make myself fustrated.
when it doesnt matter.
dont ask me why.
me myself. i dont know the reason.
first of all.
i disclaim.
im not targeting anyone here.
just. how i feel.

in the years to come.
will you think about the moments that we shared?

taken from a song.
say goodbye - s club.
while replaying over and over again.
flashes of the past.
just yeah.

in a year from now.
maybe there'll be things we wish.
we never said.

v true.

it can be forgiven.
but never is it easy.
to be forgotten.

just like a broken vase.
nothing will turn back.
JUST for you.

sometimes.
its just destiny.
yours. its yours.
not yours.
it will never be.

now.
i can say.
im making things difficult for myself.
but perhaps.
wo hui hao guo yi dian.
i will feel better.
maybe.
we shall see.

things just got too good for comfort.
and now.
things can get.
downhill as fast as they can.
just. in a blink of an eye.

everything happens for a reason.
for all can say im unreasonable.
but if you dont understand.
dont judge me.
you can never depend on just one side of a story.

or rather.
what i think.
what i feel.
my own perceptions.
indeed.
you dont agree with me.
its fine.
dont bother arguing with me.
FOR.
its my OWN view.

say i think too much?
ever wonder.
what made me do so.
again.
you have your reasons.
i have my way of reasoning.
in that way.
can you say.
im stubborn, by just thinking.
im thinking too much.
i shld accept wad you are explaining.

sorry.
i dont take that anymore.
how i treat a person.
no matter how unreasonable i can be.
trust me.
there is always.
always a reason.
whether to you.
its reasonable. or not.
up to you to judge.

crudely as i put.
even if i leave you behind.
even if i move on.
even if we arent friends.
you dont give a damn.

you can say how sad you are.
how you keep inside.
but remember.
im no better than you.
the pain i feel.
its just.
anguish in silence.

or rather.
you are probably just saying you are sad.
for the sake of saying it.

hah.
thats all.
simply put.
after all these.
u know wad.
i give up.
really.
i surrender. totally.
shirley finally surrenders.
* throws confetti in air *
perhaps you are.
laugh out loud.

i'll move on.
i hope.

emo entry.
pardon me.

so say goodbye.
but dont cry.

ciao.

shann

2006-07-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

heyy.
im back.(:

lols.
long tym no update ehs.
hmms.
nth much really.

sch reopened alrdy.
2nd week?
yepp.
hectic life.
tuition. homework.
weekdays are just rest.
lol.
hmms.
on fri.
4E2 n 4E3 vs 4E6 with some 4E5 i think.
heh hehs. 4E2 n 4E3 won! xD
although win by penalty.
still win mahs. (:
vv happy for my class. xD
yaya. i love my class (4E3) (:
love it truckloads. : D

my eyes arh.
like v sensitive siah.
v easy red.
cham liao.
-.-..
later ppl thought sore-eye.
hehs. random crap. : D

hao hao.
lemme think.
oohs.
youth day celebration last wk!
LOL. vv nice can. xDD
the chers.
talented in music and arts.
dun play play. : D
singing not bad de okay. : D
how bout they sing and teach us?
LOL.
im dreaming lahs.
wait long long oso wont have. xP

hmms.
xinni say hohs.
our graduation day somewhere aug.
hmms.
our prelims are like end of aug.
O levels oral for english - 11 aug onwards.
hmms.
maybe not aug. hehs. xD
i dun wan so fast oso lahs.
so fast say bye bye.
how can. -.-.
i thought it wld be like. oct?
before our O level mahs.
zzz.
dun talk bout it.
all the leaving and stuff.
later sad again. -.-.
(:

oh yahs!
i killed a rose on youth day.
zz.
v guilty siah.
one nice rose.
rough shirley went to touch it.
and BAM. whole thing pluck out.
super siah. -.-.
so not gentle can.
lol. ' chor lor ' in another way. xD

hmms.
im turning 16 soon!
heh hehs. (:
going to be older liao. tsk.
lols. xD

and and.
today is hafizah's burfday!
i noe she wont see this de lahs.
but still.
happy burfday to her!
(:

few more days.
two more people turning 15. : D

firefly by A teens v nice!
heh hehs.
if free i post up the lyrics. (:

hmms.
i help xinni advertise.
support milubing! : DD

LOL.
xinni.
dun say i not good hohs. ^^

oks.
get ready for tml.
byee! (:

shann

2006-06-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

hi!

hmm.
xing fu bu shi bi ran de.
(:

well well.
lets see.
june holidays are almost over.
my god man.
so much to do.
so little time.
zz.
shirley arh shirley.
always so lazy.
how many tomorrow you want?!
* shakes head *
zz.
cannot liao.
i must motivate myself.
seriously.

as people always say.
time FLIES.
just a blink of an eye;
sec 4 life is soon to be over.
just few more months.

just few more months...

blahblahblah.
how?

sometimes.
knowing too much isnt good.
agree?
well.
living in denial is another issue.
if knowing too much hurts;
why bother to know?
whether you know or dont.
fate bahs.

nope.
im not giving in to fate.
just that some things in life.
you just have to go along with it.
agree anyone?

this month.
i get to know few friends much better.
ohs. i talked to harshali! (:
looking forward to next may. haas. :D
hmms. she left for india today..
bon voyage girl! (:

hmms. lemme see.
kai xian.
heh hehs. u reading this? (:
i have nvr really talked to her.
even thou i knew her bck in sec2.
perhaps not close.
but i got to know her much better.
at least. she's not that distant from me!
* GRINS *
hope this can carry on --> closer friends(:
hey girl!
i value ur time being there with me!
all the best for upcoming exams yeah(:

i suddenly feel super blessed.
i have friends/family.
i am really.really fortunate.

of course.
i value the time of everyone!
esp those ( youknowwho) who were there.
when i was vv down.
again.
they might not see this.
its ok.(:

>3 all of you! (:
again.
* xing fu bu shi bi ran de *

: D
cham liao.
nvr revise dao.
diediedie.
* prays *

AHHHHHHH.

ppl.
enjoy the last day (sunday).
after sunday.
hard work ppl! (:

hehs.
tml cut short hair.
goodbye to long hair!
lol.
new beginning?
hope so. (:

random:

IF its true.
den i must say.
u hid it v well.

afterall.
some things are BEST not to be spoken.

even if i ask.
what will be the truth.
what will be the lie.
well.
the answer is for you to know.
for me to find out. (:

randomrandom.
i've got weird thoughts. (:

if u know. u know.
if u dont. its ok(:

understand? (:

CIAO! (x

shann

2006-06-21T07:08:00.000-07:00

im tagged. LOL. :D

I have been tagged by kerina to do this!

Rules: Do the following without complains. Choose five people to do this after you have completed yours. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged... And start your post by 'i have been tagged' then do this:"

Your 10 favourites
Favourite Colours: orange/green/black/white/blue
Favourite Food: erm. anything edible? :X
Favourite Songs: hmms. those meaningful one bahs.
Favourite Movies: I not stupid too?
Favourite Sports: ball games/swimming
Favourite Season: s'pore oso no season derh. LOL? hmms. winter. (:
Favourite Day of the Week: friday!
Favourite Ice Cream Flavour: chocomint : D
Favourite Countries: i've nvr travelled before. oh well. ehs. singapore/austrailia
Favourite Things: notes/cards that i recieved from friends.

Your 9 currents
Current Mood: empty bahs. neither happy nor sad.
Current Clothes: jeans n t-shirt.
Current Desktop: ehs. i duno. :X
Current Toe Nail colour: normal. LOL.
Current Time: 10.23pm
Current Annoyance:O'levels. hw. friends.
Current Thoughts:plenty. pretty mixed.
Current Song: nan peng you - jun yang.
Current "Chatter": none.

Your 8 firsts
First Best Friend: back in pri sch(:
First Crush: back in pri sch. young kid then (:
First Movie: ehs. my mum said it was the Red Lion. LOL?
First Piercing: hmms. last yr. now close lerh. long story. :X
First Lie: long long ago. xDD
First Music: happy burfday? (:
First car: hmms. i dun owe any car. even toy car. LOL.
First Cry: 13 august 1990.

Your 7 lasts
Last Cigarette: nah. i dun smoke.
Last Drink: milk tea. (:
Last Car Ride: bus 187.
Last Crush: ehs. sec sch bahs.
Last Movie seen: erh. I not stupid too bahs. :X
Last Phone Call: eh. eileen.
Last CD Played: none.

Your 6 Have you evers
Have you ever date one of your bestfriend: nah. lols.
Have you ever broken the laws: ehs. jaywalk? :X
Have you ever been arrested: 0.0. no la.
Have you ever been on TV: nope.
Have you ever kiss some one that u dont know: o.0. nope. maybe when i was small bahs. (:

5 things that you are wearing: specs/t-shirt/jeans/you know i know. :X
4 things you done today: eat/bathe/tuition/went to xinni's hse
3 things you heard right now: my mum opening letter/music/dad's footsteps.
2 things you cannot live without: friends/family
Things you do when u are bored: music/read/daydream.

WANTED LIST:
ehs.
anyone who sees this?
(:

woots! im done : DD

shann

2006-06-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

back.

feeling v lousy now.

holidays passing fast.
soon it will be prelims.
few more months.
O levels.
graduation day will come as well.

as we go on. we remember.

how many people had entered in my life.
how many stayed.
how many left.

i wish i can take all of you with me.
but reality stops me.
thats how reality works.

time.
how things change with time.
the past.
the present.
the unknown future.

the classroom filled with laughter.
the vacant classroom.

distance.
so near yet so far.
i thought.
after a honest talk.
everything will just be fine.
but no.
why it was just quarrel after quarrel.
or.
misunderstandings over and over again.
or rather.
same old mundane routine.
always back to square one.

im just racing against time.
so strained.
the line is getting thinner.
or perhaps.
it just snapped.

i just realised.
its so hard to salvage a friendship.
to find a friend.
whom you lost somehow somewhere.
hah.

just random thoughts.

anyhow.
came across ken's blog.
heard a v nice song.
that is to me.
duno how the others feel bout it.
(:

Heartbreak Lullaby by A-teens:

Heartbreak lullaby...
In the still of the night,
I can almost feel you lying next to me,
Like it used to be,
And its hard to let go,
When there's always something there reminding me,
How things could be,
I've tried to get you off my mind,
I've tried to play my part,
But everytime I close my eyes,
You're still inside my heart,

Why can't I laugh?
Why must I cry?
Everytime we say good-bye,
Why does it rain,
Here in my heart,
Everyday that we're apart,
Why can't it be,
Just you and me,
What will it take to make you see,
These are the words,
To my Heartbreak Lullaby,

Like the stars in the sky,
You still keep on shining down you're light on me,
But out of reach,
And I know that in time,
You will come back to your senses,
See the signs,
And change your mind,
I try to look the other way,
And keep my heart on hold,
But everytime I'm close to you,
I lose my self-control,

Why can't I laugh?
Why must I cry?
Everytime we say good-bye,
Why does it rain,
Here in my heart,
Everyday that we're apart,
Why can't it be,
Just you and me,
What will it take to make you see,
These are the words,
To my Heartbreak Lullaby.

Why can't I laugh?
Why must i cry?
Give me just one good reason why..
Why does it rain
Here in my heart,
Everyday that we're apart.
Why can't it be,
Just you and me,
What will it take to make you see,
These are the words,
To my Heartbreak Lullaby.
[CHORUS x2]
( credits to : http://www.dance-lyrics.com/songs/heartbreak_lullaby_5356.htm )

just what will it take to make you see.
just what can i do to make you see why.

it will be long or never.

whywhywhy.

ciao.

shann

2006-06-09T07:40:00.000-07:00

090606

today is a very special day.
happy 50th anniversary to hua yi! (:

50 years of history.
a history that came so far.

went to sch bout 2.
right after lunch and RELC course.
RELC was good (:

yepp.
talked to wei ting (sec 1).
trained with kai ting.
hmms. den wee.
went to sc rm to take a look.
blazer! =(
no chance wear blazer.
v smart leh they wear (:

oks.
den time to change alrdy.
hmms.
bout 5 plus.
we were on standby then.
hmms.
v nervous n excited.

finally..
the GOH came!
stylo car (:
den parade over.
well.
its over now.
after months of rehearsals.
complaints at times.
standing under the hot sun.
but i believe its v worth it.
and im v proud to say.
im actually involved in HYSS 50th anniversary.
im a part of it. (:
took many photos with NCC guys and RC girls. : D
lols. got real rifle and those swords u see at NDP.
dun play play. xP
plus state's flag and HYSS flag! * GRINS *
den i saw NPCC sec 4 seniors.
v touching scene (:
took photo with huey lee n eileen!
for the first time. v nice! (:

den hmms..
went to watch the performance.
cant see v properly.
cant hear anything oso.
so i sneaked up. LOL.
wee!
managed to see the whole performance.
when we sang our sch song during the finale.
i kinda cried silently.
yah. even i for once. didnt believe that.
the school i USED to hate.
has become one part of my life (:

yepp.
den quickly went down.
hmms. : D
took photos! (:

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (:

oks.
to be continued.
(:

happy 50th anniversary to hua yi (:

shann

2006-06-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

hmms.

after i've read royce's blog.
my heart just wrenched.

back in yr 2004.
i was still in hns course.
i remembered there was this patient.
who used to sit at the table and draw.
patient as he was, he didnt care.
he drew beautiful paintings;
paintings of flowers.
and me.
i used to just stand beside him.
watching him paint, joke.
he even offered to draw one painting and frame it for me.
which i gladly accepted it.
he told me that it wld only be ready in oct.
and i wld need to go back and take that.
the me promised him i wld go back.
however.
i failed to honour my promise.
and now.
i just got to know.
he passed away last june.
to wait for a man who will never come.
its as good as waiting in the drought.
and i.
i didnt honour my promise to him.

uncle,
if u can hear the voices in me.
im sorry.
i failed to honour my promise.
i failed to visit you.
you treated me just like your daughter.
you told me to work hard for my future.
and i failed you.
im sorry.

I believe you will be happy with the Lord.

time waits for no man.
how true it is.

feeling much better alrdy.
thanks to sara n kar yan;
for their concerns(:

things are getting pushy.
and.
i've no better solutions.
than to run away and seek solace.
for now.
let me just take a break.

that issue?
long over.

你给我的承诺像标本框里的蝶
冰冷的睡像永不再醒来的离别

( if cant see. go view -> encoding -> unicode )

these two phrases.
taken from a song.
they are my favs.
the meaning is brought out i guess.
how i feel about it too.

if you promise to someone.
honour the promise.
for it is definitely significant.

shann

2006-06-03T04:20:00.000-07:00

my life's been way off line.

whole week having remedials.
plus. rehearsals.
hmms.
pretty tiring though.
but its definitely worth it. (:

ytd didnt go sch thou.
missed geo and physics.
plus rehearsals. -.-.
thurs night wasnt feeling well alrdy.
slight fever. ate panadol.
thought i wld be okay the next day.
end up. fever shot up to bout 40 deg.
felt v dizzy and all.
quickly went to see the doc.
i had difficulty walking.
can see how weak i am. -.-.
den waited v long la.
omg blood. o.o..
dr loi was quite shocked oso.
lols. he was like. 0.0. 40 deg?!
actually it was bout 39.
perhaps of the long wait.
den shot up to 40 ba.
the feeling of being sick.
shudders.
went home.
didnt feel like eating.
ate 2 spoons. full liao.
ate medicine. fell asleep.

fever went down.
today slight fever i think.
hmms.
now is major flu.
blocked nose. -.-..
how to go for rehearsal lehs.
pray that i wld be fine asap.
first time i got such a high fever.
all because of. yeah.
blah.

hmms.
i'll end here. (:

shann

2006-05-29T05:46:00.000-07:00

blog collecting dust.
: D

oks.
hmms.
today is chin O's.
whoa.
serious man.
the whole mood vv different.
ytd night toss and turn.
cant sleep much. =x.
actually i felt ok de leh.
den at night start to get nervous.
hmmphs.
ok la.
considering that my palms didnt sweat today.
means i didnt panic!
which means. i am v calm.
which means. hmms.
i did the best i could?
yeahh. lols.
but my preparations.
can actually be better ba.

btw arhs.
my index number.
0088 lehs.
LOL.
i told my mum.
she go buy lottery. LOL?
heh hehs.
i expected it de la.
LOL.
kinda lucky ehs?
maybe ppl say superstitious.
but hmms. jus for luck ba. : D
v easy to remember oso.
but i think. num will change ba.
heh hehs. nvm la. at least. i ONCE had the number (:

a big thank you to those who wished me well.
i prayed before i started doing the paper.
of cos pray for all in the hall (:
the paper was all right. : D
not bad not bad.
hope i can score ba. (:

now wei jian playing bball match.
against whye nam.
nanyang csc ACE. heh hehs. : D
prays his team can win!
* cross fingers *
a pity its at ang mo kio cc.
if at boon lay. can go watch liao.
LOL. : DD

still got wad lehs. hmms.
ohs my friend!
a v pro sec 4 boy. : D
he did qn 1 and 4.
if i do qn 4. sure die. (:
he say he crap.
but he can crap alot leh.
somemore is can score de points lohs.
* blink blink *
liddat not crap liao lehs. xDD
pro right?
i wrote qn 5.
cos qn 3 and 4 i dun really have confidence.
so dun do lorhs. qn 5 instead. : DD

hao.
hmms.
v busy during june holidays.
lols. hope can cope. (:
xD

perhaps its me who dun get it.
well.
like i've thought bout it before.
repetition of history.
if its not simple.
den as you wish ba.
i respect your decision.
me being stubborn.
will get me nowhere out of this situation.
same thing.
IF it doesnt matter to one party.
why should i bother so much.

oks.
dont let this get me.
jia you arh wei jian!
moral support ^^ : DD
lols.
im talking to the air. -.-.

lots of things to do.
yet so lil time.
so near.
but yet so far.
shrugs.

silence.
what will happen next?

its for you to know.
for me to find out.

ciao. (:

shann

2006-05-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

back.

shant say much bout exams.
afterall.
what's done is done.
exams taken. results given.
what more can i do.

thanks xinni for her encouragement (:
>3 her loads (:

and so.
yeahh.
i guess.
i need a day to sort out my thoughts and all.
in fact. v disturbing ones.

actually.
i tried v hard to be happy.
laugh and all.
i just hope i can be optimistic bout it.
just like people say.
its just the MYE.
learn from mistakes.
and work really hard for prelim.
xinni oso told me.
prelim = one last chance.
O levels is the stage for performance.
the big day.
whilst prelim is just akin to the last full-dress rehearsal.
and i shant waste my time away anymore.

it is indeed very disturbing.
when mrs chong asked me.
why did i fare so badly.
because to her.
im hardworking.
at that point of time.
i was asking myself.
yah. why.
am i really working v hard.
tears almost fell.
but i swallowed it down.
it was hard.
really hard.

its time to start now.
10 days to O levels chinese.
just for chinese.
it has always been my strongest subject.
not v fantastic marks.
but i believe i can do better.

its not whether you get knocked down;
but whether you are willing to pick up from where you fell.

life is about learning backwards;
but working forward.

thats what i chance upon today.
realise something new.

and.
got it from sara's blog.
with her permission.

' time will never wash the pain away;
if you keep holding onto it. '

therefore.
this is what i think.

' if it must pass. let it go. '

no use harping on the same issue.
im tired.
you are tired.
what for.
im tired running after you.
you are tired of this chasing-running.
in the end.
we are still back to square one.
whats the point?

i stubbornly refused to let go.
you just tried so hard to run away from me.
thats what i feel.
so. in the end.
i choose to let go.
i'll give you the freedom you always wanted.

its always hard to say goodbye.

talking to ronald now.
thanks ronald for ur encouragement (:
yeahh.
i will not let these marks take over my confidence. (:
thanks for your concern.
you might not see this.
but thanks (:

alright.
i'll end here.
(:

shann

2006-05-18T06:08:00.000-07:00

expected it.
i failed geo.
i thought i'll flunk.
but well. i manage to fail by a few marks.
thou its a fact i failed.
at least. i didnt fail miserably.
so i guess.
will jus scrap thru the total grade.

tis time round.
i dont expect to pass fantastically.
honestly.
i didnt work vv hard.
you reap what you sow.
since i didnt work hard.
i can only blame myself.

i promise to myself.
i will work during this june holiday.
serious mugging.
the fear of getting back results.
is becos im not prepared.
if this is my O levels.
im done for.
MYE is definitely my wake up call.
i believe its never too late.
i did study.
but i didnt put in 100%.
i can do much better.
serious mugging must be done.

im sad. yes i am.
but i can only blame myself.
nvr study hard.
now den panic.
what's the use.

i believe God has been vv kind to me.
i thought i'll flunk geo. probably. 30+
cos. i only managed to study ss.
and its just. abit.
Thank you God.
i may not be a believer.
but Thank you.

i'll just hope.
that i wont flunk that bad.
althou.
i can guess what's the marks.
esp for a maths.

well.
whatever will be; will be.
i've got to stop procrastinating.
really.
you reap what you sow.
very true indeed.
you can get lucky once. twice.
but not everytime.

so. yah.
blah.

neway.
thanks to:
steven
yan qing
constance
li huan
susanna
ty ty

for today.
i enjoyed being with dem.
saw yan jie n kai xian (:
saw mei qi.
my pri sch best friend.
well. at least to me. (:

tckare ppl.
whatever will be, will be.
yeah.

i end here.
(:

shann

2006-05-16T00:42:00.000-07:00

im back.
lols.

HAI.
tis fri.
my doomsday lohs.
giv bck papers ma.
zz.
i will see many many red marks. : X
im pretty sure.
so.
GOD BLESS (:

z.
im v bored lehs!
nobody to talk to.
i think i will write some stuff.
to my friends. (:

13 days to O levels chinese.
again.
GOD BLESS (:

hao flooding partner!
hee.
she offline liao. > <
duno whether she will see tis.
but.
hao flooding partner!
we had fun right.
xPP

hao hao.
im am really really bored.
i shall go n write stuffs now.
: D

last day of exam liao.
today.
8.20 jiu finish CL listening.
LOL.
funny ehs.
go to sch for 20 mins.
so..
bo liao me went to take 99.
and took a round.
LOL.
reach home. bout 9 plus. close to 10.
STILL V EARLY.
lols. no choice.
i lazy go market.
xD

btw.
DAVINCI CODE.
anyone? xDD

okays.
tada.
BYEEE (:

shann

2006-05-10T02:27:00.000-07:00

take a risk.
take a chance.
make a change.

bad sore throat.
z.

2 more papers to go.
or rather. 3 more.
CL paper 3. -.-.
YAYNESS.
im gonna flunk so terribly.
: DDD

june holidays.
oso wont enjoy de la.
neway. im going to pia.
BUT.
see first ba.
LOL.
shirley ahs!
stop procrastinating.
yarh.
im lazy la.
the papers are not really tough.
esp sciences.
hmmphs.
oh well. jus work harder next time.
no procrastination at least. (:

all right.
last 2 papers for the week!
jia you ehs.
: DDD

off to do work. : P
byee. (:

ESCAPISM -->
you jus gotta move it on.

shann

2006-05-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

DING DONG.

my god la.
z.
fustrations beyond comprehension.

exams are more important.
HAY.
whatever.

shann

2006-05-04T23:46:00.000-07:00

exams.

i guess everyone is somehow stressed up in some way.
im not so tensed up like before.
but yeah. worried.

why it did have to happen.
why it all have to end.

today is a.maths paper 1.
all i can say is.
work harder for paper 2.

sitting alone to think.
i find. changes are come and go kind of thing.
ppl just go in and out of your life.
at least. in my life rather.
looking back.
there were things i missed out.
there were people i lost.
there were close friends.
but somehow.
the friendship between us just soured.
because of stubborness.
i tried to get them back.
but nevertheless.
it somehow got lost somewhere;
or it was gradually forgotten.

all i know is.
none of us intended to bear this burden.

i couldnt accept it at first.
the question was.
WHY?
but somehow i realise.
at a particular point of time.
some things when missed.
you can never go back.
some friends when lost.
you can never get the same old them back.
the me that i was.
is not the me that i am now.
i guess this principle applies to each and everyone too.
people move on.
they dont go back.

once you know.
you know.
you can try to deny.
but no point.
deluding urself? what for.

happened to chance upon a book just now.
travelling light.
it says, " release the burden you never intended to bear" .
i read it over and over again.
thought bout it.
i agreed.

why bother.
if ur efforts are not appreciated.
why cry.
when you just meant to help.
thats how i tell myself.

i remember.
how about you.

im closing the chapter.
you cant be bothered.
i am helpless.

its hard to fathom.
find a way now.
fight against all odds.

can i.

shann

2006-05-01T02:52:00.000-07:00

yeah. im back.

life's pretty like. no life?
so yep.
im so dead.
flu. cough.
just before exams?
bless me ahs.

somehow.
i dread life now.
lol.

why insist things that will never return?
why.why.why.

shrugs.
i've got no answer either.

i kept my faith.
for?
i duno.

perhaps this is life.
ups or downs.
choose it.
u decide.
(:

MYE coming.
havent really prepare.
well.
best of luck. (:

somehow.
i look forward to post-sec life.
was discussing with sara.
but. on the other hand.
i miss my friends.
hmms.

vene!
she haven send me kai sone's photos..
all i have with me is.
self-made statues?
not really statues. 3 animals.
she made it herself.
really nice (:
kai sone where are you?
i still remember you yeah.
remember the hotdog bun?
remember taka?
(:

memories.
looking back at my diary.
often den enuff.
i wld always say.
yeahh. forever.
honestly.
i meant to be forever at dat point of tym.
but somehow.
memories wld either be blurred.
or jus faded.
jus like friendship.
somehow it got lost.
or jus forgotten.
hah.
this is life? (:

n now den i realise.
i've been 7yrs of friends with gervina.
lol.
i thought it was ken all along.
=x. yuan lai is gervina.
actually.
i have friends with me since P1?
hmms. jus contact thru msn.
speaking of P1.
i hope to find him back. (:
hope you are living well n all.

okay.
xinni.
dun drink vinegar? =x.
i >3 you oso la. really. : D
hehs. (:

ESCAPE.

shann

2006-04-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

will there be miracles if i believe.

for the past few months.
im like a disaster.
i thought i can overcome it.
but i guess.
it all comes back to reality.
for things. do not go the way u want.

its easy to give in to fears.
somehow.
i feel so distant from my friends.
those who i thought im close with.
im talking bout those that i take it as close. not the opp.
self-proclaimed i call.
somehow;
i got lost on the way.
or i was just simply forgotten someway.somehow.

who knows what tomorrow holds for us.
im honestly afraid.
that i will sink to the very bottom once again.
after so much.
am i to go back to hell.

no matter how lousy i feel.
i will put a smile.
but there are times.
i just feel like giving it all up.
winners nvr quit -
rather. im a loser in the first place.

i know plenty of people.
but i wld rather have friends.
who are there for you.
just one word from them.
you will be joyful once more.
because of the people u call friends.
u are able to enjoy ur days.
just like xuan's nick.
they MULITIPLY joy;
they DIVIDE ur sorrow;
they SUBTRACT unhappy past of yours;
they ADD on to your book of joyful memories to come.

will i have them all.
or will i lose them all.

will i fall back once again.

or perhaps.
im just not good enough.
the faith i had now lies in wonder;

escapism.
i cant see my way now.

shann

2006-04-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

yepp today.
welcome parade for 50th anniversary.
wore rc uni n all.
we are in the supporting contingent ba. (:
yep yep.

stayed back for the whole RC activity.
was the only sec 4. lol.
but it was funfunfun. (:
went mama shop.
saw NCC peeps.
lols. accompanied kai ting home.
with NCC as bodyguards. : D
lols. no la.
becos dey were walking behind ma. : P
den dat wei lian.
kip disturb me.
pull my hair. > <
duno why boys nowadays like to do dat oso.
very fun meh. hmm.
lols but im not angry. : D
becos i had my sweet revenge too.
HAHA. : D

den arh.
we wait for kai ting to come down.
she chg fers.
hmms. den wait loh.
she came down le. : D
den the first 99 come.
we say. whoa. so full.
dun wan. LOL.
den continue wait.
2nd 99.
still dun wan. LOL.
we say its full. : D
den 3rd 99.
alrdy v late liao.
we say. erh. wait for michael's bus come fers loh. : D
LOL.
4th 99.
we bluff her its 98.
den she say. 99 LA. -.-.
LOL. den the 99 jus went.
she decided. to run after the bus.
OMG.
in the end nvr manage to catch up. > <
worse leh.
she wanted to walk instead..-.-.
on the other hand.
i became the only girl.
with 5 NCC.
lols. cool arh.
same thing.
wei lian di siao.
-.-.
den 99 come liao.
yang meng say.
kai ting waiting for us at the bus stop in front.
lols. whoa. dats a long tym leh.
hmms.
den saw her liao.
: DD
went home!
cut hair. no difference. cut so lil nia. -.-?

same thing.
if it must go.
i will let it pass.

for; to force is never the solution.
agree?
(:

its time to sit back. n rest my eyes just this once.
seen too much.

byeee. (:

shann

2006-04-04T04:37:00.000-07:00

aye.
hmmph.
i passed phy!
good good. : DD
i thought i wld fail.
seriously.
borderline pass ba.

e maths.
easy but. i duno how to do.
i panicked for one thing.
*shrugs*
prays hard ba. :P
AND GEO. zzz.

ss fail liao. terribly somemore. =x.
nvm. wad's done is done.
try harder. (:

another busy week.
few more weeks to mid yr.
BLAHH.
hmms.
have faith ba. (:

i passed my phy.
not satisfied but at least.
i pass. : D

hmwk tym.
TADA (:

shann

2006-04-01T00:29:00.000-08:00

aye.
HAPPY APRIL FOOL. : D

lols.
naughty xinni.
oops. i mean WAYNEY.
lols.
wayney ge ge. : D
she arhs. trick me nias.
> <
tsk tsk.
but i oso not bad la.
managed to trick bon. HAHA. : D

haas.
kie.
BYEEE. (:

shann

2006-03-31T06:23:00.000-08:00

yep.
today's friday.
finally.
i can sit down in peace.
to type this out.
(:

past few days.
blah.
somehow i find;
i get v tired easily.
perhaps. stress ba.
shrugs.

so today.
was quite happy in the morning.
becos. its finally friday! : D
n im involved in 50th anniversary.
to me; its a joyful thing ba.
afterall. there is only ONE 50th anniversary of ur sch.
im proud to be a part of it. (:
after sch. it was pure crapness.
dun wish to elaborate.
just to say.
words are unretractable.
you can be sorry;
but the words are said.
friends long way back.
and end up in this way.

whoever read this.
can say.
the person has apologised.
dont be so petty la.
but i guess.
if you think like that.
you probably dont understand my situation.

thanks to mr lee n xinni.
dey saw me n persisted to know.
which is why i told them.
other than dem.
i didnt say anything further.
so thats about all.

well. i wrote this for myself.
to say it all out.
afterall. its my blog yep.

all right. lets move on.
den had practice with ncc n npcc.
hmm. red cross rawks.
i really love them. (:
i regret. i didnt treasure rc last tym.
so yep. hyrc jia you! : D
im always here. (:

meet the parents session.
blah. i was alone.
sat beside eileen n her mum.
crap with her. > <
listened to the poly part. lols.
den accompanied xinni home.
and me. took a bus home. (:

there are times when a sun doesnt shine as brightly.
clouds will cover it up.
but someday.
clouds will clear; sun will resurface.
i believe. thats for the better.

thats all ba.
byeeee.

shann

2006-03-27T02:46:00.000-08:00

ehh.
im back. : D

alot of things happen la.
lols.
hmm. prepare eye mo (:

so yeahh.
second day of adam khoo.
17th march.
hmmm.
just crying ba.
reflection and blah.
it can touch you where your heart is.
(:

third day of adam khoo.
last day.
somehow got the courage.
to go up and thank people.
however. i cut short alot. =x
i love you people! : DD
thank you ramesh. wayne. danny!
and. chuan lay (:
they taught me alot.
be it personal or social.
*smiles*

and erm.
i trip timothy.
accidentally one.
=x.
he fell down on the floor.
my god. lols.
and i owe him choco.
just becos to stop him from crying.
LOL. =x.
bluff one la. : D

den erh. saturday. 25 march.
didnt go for cip day.
instead. go to downtown east.
for a talk on AIDS n terrorism.
LOL.
all i can say is.
the best part is.
EATING. : D
i eat two rounds. chin how still eating.
LOL.
becos his plate v full ma.
who ask the boys take so much. : D
den the drink glasses oso v stylo milo.
those chio chio wine glasses in restaurants?
mind you. its glass.
and im known for breaking things. : D
the plate is ..so heavy.
LOL.
i haven even put any rice yet.
dot sia. > <
BUT.
the food v nice la. : DD

actually.
good things will come to an end right.
lols.
the talk on terrorism.
lol. i really just wan to doze off.
when they turned off the lights.
i just closed my eyes. : D
i believe many were the same. : D
some were slping until so SHUANG.
LOL.
cos of air con ba. (:

den me. xinni. seok min were crapping.
n seok min was v funny la. LOL.
but canot say here. : D
we were just anticipating the speaker to stop.
LOL.
when everything ended. we hi 5-ed each other.
hee hee. : D

btw.
xinni has a fetish for wayne. > <
her name is now. WAYNEY.
pronounces as. WAYNE- NI
LMAO. : D
and her hair is.
shuai. : D

yepp.
today leh.
i proudly present.
3rd student council. (:
tml will mark one year.
of being an exco in 2005.
n i will definitely miss it.
looking at the blazers.
looking at the new batch of excos.
i wish them all the best;
and believe they will bring sc to greater heights.
: D
27th march 2006 (:
im not one of the 56.
but im always there.

yepp.
AND today.
is my eng oral exam.
hmms. AHH.
i die liao. : D
esp for picture discussion.
thats actually curry puff.
i said.
UNCOOKED MEAT.
my god.
lols.
its a tray.
i said. BOX.
my god.
hallelujah
GOD BLESS ME.
: DD
its all over.
lols. saw chin how; zoey; adeline; huey lee
crapping with dem. LOL.
making fun of myself. : D
told each other not to worry.
afterall. its over (:
just LEARN from it : D

den erh.
went my class to get some books.
cos i was in a hurry wen i left.
for oral exam ma.
hmms. den went 4E2.
LOL.
crapping with
qiming;
hongleng;
timothy;
xinni;
priscilla;
jian wei

thanks priscilla for sharing ur kit kat! ^^
hong leng has many white hairs. LOL.
think too much la. : D
den duno how.
from basketball talk to netball.
HAHA.
actually is me la. :D
they thought im in BROWNIES in pri sch.
LMAO.
nonononono.
: DD
they said i have many stories.
are they trying to say.
im talkative? : DD
actually i can be. : D
and went home!

tml got geo test.
GOD BLESS. (:

tada.
BYEEE (:

shann

2006-03-16T06:08:00.000-08:00

ayeee.
im back. : DD
after hiatus for quite some tym ba.

hmm so far.
alrite la.
problems here and there.
lols.
contradicting aint i.

im not going to be in the 3rd HYSC.
grades are slipping down.
even better den the stock's market ok. ><

hmms.
but nvm!
positive thoughts set everything right.
: D
after thru depression n all.
i aint going back my old path. (:

so todae.
went for the first day of adam khoo workshop.
trainers : ramesh; danny; wayne;
music n sound effects: chuan lay
ramesh is like. super hilarious.
LOL.
dere were some touching parts.
yeah. cried.
one sentence that i think to be v true now is.
when you think ur lyfe now is toturing.
take a look at other children.
probably even smaller age than you.
take a look in hospitals.
in ICUs.
cancer unit.
where children are all suffering.
by then.
will u still think the way before?
for me.
i seriously reflected.
and i admire them.
for their fighting spirit.
(:

wayne n danny were both great.
funny parts n there.
overall.
it was a long 13 hrs.
my god.
i've nvr sat down on the same place for more den 5 hrs even.
lols.
but it was definitely a fun day.
looking forward to tml. : D

i feel im v fortunate now. (:

yeapp.
left with a bit of hw left.
faster pia finish.
den can revise.
> <
so many things to do.
so little tym.
nvm. make the time : D

lol. im like so motivated.
: D

shann

2006-01-07T02:47:00.000-08:00

im back. (:

5 - 6 jan.
sec 1 orientation camp.
hmms.
tis year im one of the excos.
oso the only girl exco. =x.
jia lat. lucky got royston. :D

hmms.
being exco oso good la.
can join any group. (:
oso the paramedic.
LOL. karim calls me tat.
in charge of first aid ma.
tis year arhs.
got alot of students not feeling well.
hmms. hope i did make dem feel better? lols.

went to group 12 cos justin is dere ma.
went to take a look how he is.
not bad leh. =D
thou most of dem say its kinda boring. =x.
hmms. rained in the night?
dey didnt get to do nightwalk.
and play some activities. which was a pity.
hmms. BUT. tis year the performance.
dey get to sit on the chairs!
lyk some grand ceremony.
hees. =D

overall.
the sec 1 orientation is not bad.
enjoyed having fun with dem.
haas.
hope they get to noe more friends ba.
:D

sec 4 lyfe is so rushing.
like a bullet train.
final year.
come to think of it.
time really flies.

loads of hw.
hmms.
mus study hard.
i guess most probably.
i didnt pass my A maths.
so. 20th jan.
wish me luck. (:

duno whether am i assuming too much.
or dat is the reality.
but wad i see now is.
history is taking place.
im not running away from it.
its jus i noe i cant afford to confront anybody.
i dont even have the right to.
wad's ironical is.
i dont even know what went wrong.
or what i did wrongly.
to deserve the cold shoulder.
honestly i feel tat way. no offence.
im not saying anyone is wrong.
the question is. did i do anything wrong?
if the ans is yes. can you all let me know.
i tried smiling.
but all u ppl gave me was. blank stares.
i tried being polite.
but wad was returned back was short ans.
sounded lyk you all dun even wish to talk.
when i saw all of you.
i did went over and acknowledge ur presence.
but after i ask. n noticed im rather not welcomed.
i jus went away.
probably im jus thinking too much.
dats why when i walk pass the second tym.
i kept quiet.
if im being a nuisance.
jus dun wan me to be ard.
i get it.
even i dont like it.
i mus accept it.
wad for join when you are not welcomed in the first place.
it doesnt make any sense im sure.

its my blog.
im not shooting anyone here.
no offence.
dun lyk wad i say.
it doesnt matter.
for its your perception.
im free to write how i feel.

if its jus becos of the seating incident on the first day of sch.
all i can say is.
i didnt do anything wrong.
im being honest tat i dont wish to change.
becos i also wish to have my friends near me.
in lyfe.
you cant get everything u want.
i did apologise.
jus dat u didnt seem to accept it.
den suddenly.
feels lyk all are against me.
i cant do anything.
so now.
im not in.
things came to a standstill.
i cant do anything.
except to let nature takes it course.
if our friendship is strong.
we will see it.

tats all ba.
im trying hard.
thats wad i can say.

(:

shann

2006-01-03T03:34:00.000-08:00

hmm.
first entry of the new year.
yepp.

bigger classrm.
lol. 4-storey. =x
den went to help out for the tour.
1E4! hees. =D
yarhs. dey look bored. =x.
hmm.
den went to the canteen.
most of dem took lunch.
lols. i was v hungry since morn.
den was complaining to yan qing.
lols. she oso hungry.
but end up. we two took a drink nia. =x.

yep.
hmm.
nth new ba.
last year ler.
graduating batch.
z. 4th year.
so fast eh.
time nvr stops. (:

oks.
go do work ler.
(:

2005-12-31T08:36:00.000-08:00

first entry of 2006.

new fresh year.

as the countdown drew nearer to 1.
i felt like crying.
perhaps its tears of joy ba.

duno.
jus. lol.
neway.
ppl. happy 2006 ahead (:
tckare =)

shann

2005-12-31T06:36:00.000-08:00

hey.

hmm.
2005 is going to end.
in a couple of hours tym?

2005.
a v stressed year. lols.
where lots of responsibilities come.
where i started coping.
struggling.
pure sciences. A maths.
tough year.
where i went to lala land.
where i was hospitalised.
where everything went wrong.
where everything is changing.
its just. sad. sad. and sad.

but.
there were a fair share of smiles.
laughters.
where i stayed back in classrm.
slacking.
where i stayed back in sch.
thinking how to get things done for sc.
where we stay united.
hanged on thru intensive camp.

so much things to say.
so lil tym left.

looking back.
i can say.
i wasted tis year.
to me tis year passes so fast.
is perhaps i didnt treasure it.

here comes 2006.
i will miss 2005.

thank you my dear friends.
sunshines who lighted my path.
without dem.
shirley can nvr hang on tis long.
thou im the odd one out sometyms to me.
and dey can do without me.
but im here to say.
i cannot do without dem.

2005 is a hard year.
but thanks to sunshines.
it aint hard.
but i made it to be.
hahas..

thanks for accepting the way i am.
love me for who i am.

shirley loves you all! (:

who are dem;

xiao revolution-
sweetie pies.
and happy pills.
best medicine u can ever have.
dey simply are. (:

hysc-
one word.
dey rawk. rawk.
and simply rawk.
we are just one big family.
and i simply jus love dem. (:

teachers-
mr lee. mdm lye. ms toh.
dey are like respectively.
my parents. and sister.
thats how i feel.
when im down.
they are there.
they know me inside out.
thank you so much. (:

hardware zone-
esp to bro.
thanks bro.
i know u will nvr read it.
but i appreciate for wadever he did.
thanks..(:
only 1 month plus dere.
but the ppl dere.
are jus so nice.
and. v friendly.
able to click with dem jus a while.
like my bros and sisters.
i will work hard!
and visit u all sometym okae!
(:*
xie xie. and love u all! (:

yah.
i sound mushy ba? lols.
but dats how i feel.
wad i say.
is from the bottom of my heart.

and all.
who helped me in one way or another.
thanks (:
esp those who visited me in NUH.
im touched. really.
(:

in a flash.
2005 is gone.
this is my 2005.

and here comes 2006.
may 2006 be a blessed yr for everyone.
those taking O levels.
good luck okae!
mus jia you (:

tckare ppl.
and chiong hw tym. lols.
=D

ok ba..
dats all.
thank you. and God Bless!

welcome 2006.
=)

shann

2005-12-27T18:16:00.000-08:00

todae xinni is sick.
lols.
im in the office now. :D

alone again.
lols.

oks crap.
lols.
back to work. (:

shann

2005-12-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

todae went to office alone.
hmms.
crono came in the afternoon.
lols.
went lunch with kenneth. iris. vivian.
as usual. im the smallest. ^^
went to ngee ann to eat. lols.
vivian treated me to lunch.thanks! :D
dey are so nice la.
often treat me to nice nice things.
so paiseh. =x.

tml lunching with crono.
hope he remembers.
haas.
as usual.
his treat . =DD
xinni faster come back!
im so bored todae.

crono leh.
make me jump.
LOL.
i didnt noe he was in the pantry la.
den i go throw smth ma.
LOL. den saw him when i looked up.
was o.o!?
:D

okays.
gtg ler.
otherwise.
tml dun nid wake up liao.

tckare ppl!
(:

shann

2005-12-25T06:59:00.000-08:00

hey.
merry christmas to all (:

hmms.
ONE kenneth. TWO phing girls. FIVE crono.
=DD

WEE-

shann

2005-12-22T09:14:00.000-08:00

i will miss dem indeed..

hmms.
today is xinni's 31st day.
mine is. 39th day. (:

yarh..
time flies yup?

we took pictures today.
gave out cards.
heard frm xinni.
iris gave us a xmas gift each.
first xmas gift i receive.
so nice of her..(:

haas.
crono is touched!
(:
of cos la..
i nvr slp to do the card.
xinni spent few hrs oso.
see the effort?
how can not touched..lols.
so...
he treating us lunch. =D

haas.
he looked v surprised wen he got the cards.
2 envelopes somemore.
heavy oso. (:
becos i purposely gave him last..
lols. he thought he dun hav.
but no.
he got 2 instead. :D

den we took super funny pictures.
got one shot.
which i find its the best shot.
and i love the photo alot.
act cute i noe.
but hey. its nice.
rather den always formal? (:
haas.
the funniest is kenneth.
makes me wan to laugh. =D
he got funnier poses.
crono was saying.
"i cant believe u did that"
lols. the pose we thought quite some tym.
den dey taught us how to pose. lols.
me and xinni 2 fingers.
kenneth 1 finger.
crono 5 fingers all out. =D
yup..the close bonded feeling is there.
not everyone can feel it. (:

todae oso did recording.
lols.
xinni was recording.
den crono act as the customer.
LOL.
super gao xiao.
den crono ask me try.
-.-..
lols.
i had fun too.
=D
jus like normal.
n crono says.
"ur voice is deeper den mine"
..diao.
means my voice sounds like a man thru the phone?
bu hui ba..dat is scary. =x

tml sec 1 registeration..
reminded of how i fers came to hy.
(:
and how much my mindset changed.
yeah.
u bet. (:*

i love THAT chio photo.
yes. i love it.
(:

happy things dont last forever.
aint that sad.
we will part with our friends.
and meet new ones.
wonder how long it will be.
to be able to meet the old ones.

BUT so long we HAD a time together.
a moment together.
its enuff to recall (:

short but sweet memory in tym to come.

many diff people;
one HWZ (:

i love all of yoo!

CRONO; kenneth; andy; eugene; jackie; scorp
iris; doris; vivian; joanne; marilyn (:

and few others we met-
michelle.
the chio lady who looks like barbie.
wendy.

i've been working in the HQ room.
all are like.
brothers and sisters.
you can say im emotional.
but seriously.
there is not only work.
but warmth. (:
brotherly love;
sisterly love;

they definitely made a difference.
(:

that photo.
is always with me. (:

back to cards (:

shann

2005-12-13T05:30:00.000-08:00

YO (:
v tired arhs.
so no constant update.

erm yar.
lyfe's pretty much the same.
work. eat. slp. study.
same old routine.
lol.
BUT.
im having fun (:
hmm. todae is nat's last day.
tckare! safe journey to new zealand (:

yup yup.
crono is as usual. funny like hell.
he said he was going off.
i said. yar. walk dont fall down hohs.
den he say. ok. den he pretends to trip.
LMAO?
lols. i find it funny la.
lols. okay.

yar.

sometimes.
things happen when you LEAST want it to.
im just what i am.
no use looking back n wondering;
never hesitate too much.
before you lose too much. to realise.

ordinary. i just want ordinary.

shann

2005-12-10T02:08:00.000-08:00

hey yo.
im back.
LOL.
ya lar.
new blogskin. =D

lols.
busy ma.
my blog has rotten.=x

erm yar.
sentosa was fun arhs.
took pictures of aud and xanne.
natural shots we call. =D
the guys swam to the opp side.
cool ba. LOL.
seawater tastes horrible btw.
soaked in the water was good man.
pulling girls down one by one.
funfunfun (:

yaryar.
sc chalet!
hmms. lols. changi worh.
but nothing happen lar.
at least.
im safe n sound. =D
erm. watched dem play mahjong.
hmms. pretty cool.
some of dem stayed up the whole fers night.
lols. but i canot tahan lar.
=D
played volleyball with kaixian.
xinni wishes to grow taller.
so we had some training for her.
LOL.

work is fun lar.
lols.
sad dat jia min left ler.
joanna came along.
but realised nat is leaving.
oh man.
she is like. so nice.
buy tibits for us to munch on (:
crono and kenneth.
are the gao xiao pair.
LOL?
our lunch place is alwaes diff.
we even tried to eat at ngee ann poly.
hmms. not bad arh. =D

xmas is coming.
before that.
amaths re exam.
*shakes head*
homework.
not done.
*shakes head*
lols.

time flies la.
so fast.
sec 4.
shoo man.

sometym.
growing up isnt nice.
hmmm.

okie.
go off ler.
=D

bu xiang zhang da lar.
=/

shann

2005-11-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

yo.
long tym no blog ehh.
hahas.

erm.
supplementary lessons.
not bad.
=D

class outing!
HAHAHA (:

though its 2 months holidays.
i know.
very fast it will be over.

den come the prelims.
den come the O - levels.

oh man.
how time flies.

happy stuff doesnt last forever.
hai.

these few months left.
its for me to treasure.
thereafter.
its time to go on a different path.

dunodunoduno.

i dont want.
but. no choice?

hmms.
duno ask me why im saying all these.
jus felt like so (:

hahas.
so long nvr blog ler.
hmms.
i love chalets and outings!
come come come. =D

every end of the story.
is the start of another chapter.
(:

tckare =D

good luck to those who are taking O level papers. =D

251005

2005-10-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

hmms.
romeo and juliet.
LOMEO and ZULIE.
(:

ELDDS team proudly presents;

i guess the response was.
not bad?
=D

the main cast.
all so chio and yan dao.
* GRINS *

baybehh.
LOL.

hmm.
after dat.
went to buy fd with xinni. =D
ate ler.
changed.
skip-
S1 orientation camp training.
WEE~
funfunfun. (:

thanks arhs royston!
HAHA.
our group played a game.
erm. i duno wad's that called la.
pass the ball ard.
den u mus remember the person's name lorhs.
LOL. den everybody all forfeit ler.
except me. xinni. and some malays. =D
LOL. den dey wan one of us to kena forfeit.
so dey dun pass to us until the very end lor.
den mus remember alot of names.=D
lucky. royston passed to me leh.
LOL. duno who intercepted the ball.
den he say. not u la. she la.
LOL.
thanks arhs =D

neways. the forfeit is fun lor.
hula hoops (:
the boy arhs.
nicknamed KFC.
oh man. so pro.
he can do the hula hoop v long lor.
his waist like super small.
* clap clap *

hmms. still got other games.
v fun. =D
shant disclose much?
HAHA. (:

my partner is.
HAFIZAH.
cos mus diff race ma.
best buds horh fizah. =D

yea yea.
v tired ler.
going 11 soon.
hmms.
short update nia.
paisehh.

so near; yet so far.

time to go a different way.

when u follow ur shining star.
leave all ur fears behind.
u will find love no matter where u are.
and all ur heart will say. - one day.

if one day..(:

shann

2005-10-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

hmms.
im back.
(:

hospital stay from last sun night.
to ytd night.
cool (:

ward 47 bed 8.
sun night.
fever.
blurred vision.
happened too fast.
rushed to the hospital.
yep.

sun night 1 am.
brought to the pantry rm.
stucked - onlygodknows - into my skin.
like a needle poking straight inside.
ouch.
(:
but i was really sleepy then. hahas.

mon morning.
mee soup.
three diff kinds of drinks.
milo. orange juice. milk.
0.0
wan me to drink which one?
lols. =D
mee soup early in the morning at 8 am?
didnt hav any appetite.=x
everything seemed so serious then.
i felt distant from everyone else..

tuesday.
i was watching the clock.
when it was 10am.
i smiled.
it was a horray for my class.
(:
so i rested.
waited for lunch.
bored yep.
VERY. hahas.
then..
something gave me a shock.
hahas.
my friends! =D
yq. aud. jw. rich.
yeahh.
xiao revolution rawks (:
hahas. yq yep.
shirley is back (:

lunch came.
jas and shu juan came!
with balloon (:
hahas. cute right. =D

after that..
ELDDS dudes came!
*GRINS*
hahas.
ken;
syafiqah;
nurul;
JJ;
fizah;
sweety pies they are (:

in the afternoon..
maureen;
brenda;
shi hui;
yep. they came too! (:
shocked and happy. =D

mr lee and mdm lye came too (:

wednesday*
hmms.
hahas.
ahh bu and chong kiat came.
gave me a shock!
i was resting.
i turned.
and. BOOM.
saw them at the front. (:
chatted and accompanied me.
thanks (:

a while later..
xinni came!
kaixian and seokmin too!
THANKS GIRLS (:
hahas they bought me.
A BIG BIG APPLE (:
sweet of them yeahh.

fizah came too!
so sweet of her (:
and yazid came too!
thanks president! =DD
then at night..
MS HAFIDA!
man..
miss her so much (:
same burfdae rawks (:
she came with a teddy bear!
very cute ok (:

thursday*
victor;
yieyeng;
mariana;
hees.
they came!
thanks (:
den fizah came too!
man she's sweet (:
in the night..
jonathan;
kah kian;
madeliene;
guo liang;
they came too!
thanks for the bars (:
and card (:

so yep..
all of them were very nice.
not forgetting my relatives.
=D
very touched. (:

met new buddies too!
bro beng hwa;
pioneer batch of hua yi lehs.
(:
bro farhan;
sis diana;
sis ratina;
they are the nurses.
who took constant care of me (:
gave me morning greetings..
jokes and laughter.
thanks..(:
i thought my hospital stay wld be boring.
but i was wrong.
very wrong. (:
without them.
i can nvr gain back my health (:

the sweety pies;
ryan leong
zachary lee
tim
erica
xie ting
hong dan
NILA (:
hahas.
the bed remote control rawks (:
barney song.
ABC song.
elmo song (:
right NILA? =D
man i miss her.
i really do.
i miss TIM too!
today he's discharged.
happy happy!
(:

thanks to them.
im always laughing.
they look happy;
worry-free.
how i wish.
i can be like them (:

a big thank you to all;
doctors and nurses.
who have taken good care of me.
treated me with patience.
and smiles (:
i love NUH.
my birth hospital.

words can never express enough;
my gratitude;
but deeply i know;
without my sunshines;
there's no shirley. (:

thanks for the smses;
small ronald;
constance;
aik song;
ur concern.
i appreciate.
really (:

because of you.
i learnt it the hard way.
never to get it far.

without sunshines;
without sweety pies;
there will be no shirley (:*

bro beng hwa;
hahas.
thanks for ur patience.
the guaze is forever dropping.
but u help me again and again.
*GRINS*
thank you (:

bro farhan and sisters;
thanks for joking with me.
thanks for everything (:

hope u all like the cards i did (:

THANKS A MILLION (:

because of you.
i learnt.
(:

shann

2005-09-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

i thought i can pull through.
the world thought i had it all.
but no.
im wrong.
to survive until now.
i have tried the best i know how.
really.

the way im in now.
is just empty.
last night.
i just cry out.
asking why.
i dont know.

i dont know what im doing.
why am i here.
problems after problems.
wad can i do.
i cry out to God.

the smile.
i guess.
is already wiped off from my face.

dont bring me to heaven;
if u intend to push me back to hell.

you are free to go.
afterall.
im now a girl.
with attitude.
problems everywhere.

i have closed my eyes.

shann

2005-09-11T00:40:00.000-07:00

back. (:

september holidays.
nothing much.
tuitions.
homework.
went for church stuff.
yeah. it rawk.
cleo and vicki were great!
not forget all the drama people. (:
sheng hong so funny siah.
shake leg until so shuang liddat.
LOL. PAPA. =D

cheryl funny siah! lols!
JULETTE.
let me tell u all lA
waves hand in the air*
LOL.
laugh till peng.
=D.

its funny and touching.
sch of superstar.
great job (:
chi feng looks like junyang.
sarah agrees with me =D
haas. shows my eyes got nth wrong. =D

lols. the drama really v gao xiao.
dey left nadia and her cousin at mrt.
lucky i was there.
lols.
cos we go buy standard tickets ma.
lols.
=D

oh yah.
me and vicki.
paisehh ah vicki.
i hit her teeth.
accidentally la.
in the bus ma.
she got braces.
den the braces cut me.
LOL?
but of cos its my fault la.
we two oso v gao xiao.
kip asking each other.
are u ok.
sure anot.
confirm ah.
=D

time flies.
when i hear the graduation song.
i cry.
lols.
maybe my tears are too much.
(:

it is now left unsaid. undone.
who cares. shrugs.
i care.
but do you.
i dont know.
i can never figure that out either.

i feel i have done my best.

i remember ms song says.
cannot assume that is a square..blahh..
ASSUME.
when assumptions are always made.
but COME ON.
i know where i stand.
dream is over.
WAKE UP shirley.

i always wish.
what i see.
is not the truth.
but i know.
there is no use.
lying to myself.
a million tears cant change a fact.

to you.
im nothing at all.

you turn your back.
left.
and never came back.

does this matter.

guess u wont see this anyway.
u have no time for this nonsense.
(:

haha.
im laughing at my life.
how much it turns.
at the wrong time.
at the wrong end.

ride back to reality.
its over.
erased.
no matter how much i think.
the situation wont change.
no matter how much i tear.
the fact cant be changed.

changes made.
i feel im replaced.
wad a laugh out loud.
im nothing.
there is nothing to replace nothing. (:

but its still.
as long as YOU are happy.
its okay with me.
everything is worth it.
happy jiu hao. (:

HAH.

shann

2005-09-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

yep.

today.
went to church.
hmms.
not bad ba (:
saw kah kian.
haas.
pastor tan preaches well. =D
he makes me think through.
(:

thanks TWINNIE SHIRLEY (:
haas.
my lovely twinnie.
by the name of shirley.
but im shirley.C
she is shirley.K
lols.
she is a indonesian. (:
but look like chinese kay.
and she is very friendly.
and of course.
i love my twinnie to bits (:

i missed her so much.
ever since she went back indonesia.
haas.
she remembered my BURFDAE (:
hmms. she bought me something.
so nice of her can =D
she bought me clothes. LOL.
that ive never tried wearing before.
(:
i will try and wear it SOMEDAY (:
its green lehs. I LOVE GREEN =D
twinnie; lets go town one day okay! (:

tml have ELDDS and phy.
z. i duno phy wkbk got any mistakes ma.
later tio scolding.
ahh.
hais.

i have sore throat la.
lols.
cannot talk again.
everytime oso liddat.
HUR.
lols.

ronald T.
you still angry with me arhs.
=x
really sorry lehs.
z. im really sorry.
i mean it (:

im never coming in between anymore.
NEVER. EVER.
i am going to leave.
and to avoid.
=D
WEE (:

im a HAPPY kid.
(:

my mom scared me.
by putting a penknife near my neck.
wow.
i told her.
haiya. u wan kill me.
jus silt my wrist.
den she take my wrist.
and im not scared (:
im NOT scared at all.
im used to it la.
leng leng (:

WEE O WEE.
haas.
im a HAPPY kid.

SEASONS by ayumi hamasaki is nice.
(:

HAPPY.
YAY.
think ive managed to walk away.
once and for all (:
HAHA. YAY.

WAKE UP-

shann

2005-09-03T23:54:00.000-07:00

devastation;

why doesnt one cherish their loved ones.
until the day they are gone from your sight.

im sorry ronald.T.
i didnt mean to.
i guess you are really in a bad mood.
im. really sorry..
...

how she entered your life.
how she gave you best memories.
how hurt you are during the months.
because of a dispute.
how i see from the start till the end.

yeah.
i feel inferior.
i have no confidence.
i have low self-esteem.
i think too much.
as you thought so.
or others think so.

its not trust.
its how the thing seems.
she definitely rocks your life.
i totally agree.

what i gave.
is nothing much.

i just wan to say here.
i have no intentions of coming in between.
no intentions.
i will return whats yours.
and leave it behind.
because. its yours.
not mine.

yeah.
no one can belong to anyone.
not belong as in.
the meaning of belong.
but. yeah u know.

im a irritance.
a disturbance.
i dont always think like that.
but its how i see.
and feel.
true.
i am sensitive.
but thats where.
i know when to leave.
when im not needed.
guess being sensitive.
is also good sometimes.

i just feel like closing my eyes.
taking a long break.
its time to get away.
to isolate and think through.
its time to close my eyes.
let the memories run.
let them replay.
and then.
erase them.
let the tears flow.
like how water does.

sorry if anyone cant understand.
cause.
i jus have an urge to type out how i feel.

seriously.
im dropping hair.
OMG?

sister twinnie!
ms hafidah (:
same burfdae.
but diff timezone.
lols (:

same burfdae has same characteristic.
we know we know (:

mr lee.
takkaire yah! (:

hais.
devastation takes me to nowhere.
except to a hole.
where i know.
i cant see whats ahead.

(:
let them be erased.
moodswings.
WHAM.
BANG-

shann

2005-09-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

have not been blogging for days.
yep.

290805.

nothing much.
work.
rehearsals.

300805.

busy day.
a maths common test.
oh well.
jus tell me i failed it.
rehearsal.
went to jp bought stuff for council.
something unexpected happened.
which.
i dont know why.
but thanks to my junior.
yep. (:
called xinni.
saw her blog.
wish to say sorry to her.
trouble her the last min.
yep.
after making calls to isabel and mr lee.
went off to make the cards.
but i guess.
im really tired.
did one.
and just slept.

310805.

the big day.
went to sc rm.
did the cards.
with the help of.
isabel.
feez.
kim choo.
thanks (:
signed smth for mr lee.
went down to assembly.
had a meeting.
busybusybusy.
went back sc rm.
syafiqah called for me.
realised i haven dressed up.
went dance studio.
dressed and make up.
of cos.
i look terrible.
(:
watched the concert in the canteen.
until it was my group's turn.
did my best.
went down.
rushed to meet xinni.
change again.
did the guess the teachers.
overall.
it was kind of funny (:
giving out of apples.
finale.

since the day ive been made exco.
i tried hard in whatever i do.
for the teachers' day.
im happy its a success.
to think.
i play a part in it.
coordinating.
everything was such a mess back then.
I thought it was almost impossible.
to have a good teachers' day.
but im really glad.
the teachers' day was a success.
a big thank you to everyone.
who have made it a success.

all sc.
its been tiring and all.
but i guess.
the sense of sastifaction and joy.
we all know (:
i enjoy working with all of you.

time flies.
its going to be end of year.
and yeah.
i can only be an exco for one year.
i treasure.
feel like giving up at times.
but you all were there.
sc is like my family.
a group of friends.
and mr lee.
who was there for me all the time.

i dont know whether im still in next year.
all i feel like saying to all of you.
esp sc who happen to come by my blog.

i want to say.
i love all of you.
i love this family.
im glad im in.
and im grateful.
the wonderful gifts God has given me.
which is.
all of you (:

the excos.
we have quarrels and all.
but.
thinking hard.
i know.
i will never forget.
the times we work together.
the times we had fun together.
the time back when we had the intensive.
where u all gave me encouragement.

mr lee.
need i say more.
the best gift i have been given.
the best teacher.
he's like my father.
the one i can talk to.
anything under the sun.
happy teachers' day to you (:

thank you mdm lye too.
for bringing me through.
we know (:

thank you:

ms chiang
ms dalina
ms foo
ms kwek
mdm jin
mr ting
mr chua

i can never thank you enough.
but thank you for the guidance.
thanks a milllion.
thanks a billion.
thanks a godzillion. (:

I >3 HYSC
I >3 EVERYONE
(:

if anyone noticed.
im not myself.
honest.
i smile it fakely.
so fake.
so fake.

whats gone cannot come back.
i have lost.
i admit defeat.

i tread upon the lonely road.
i wish to replay.
to rewind.
but time flies.
it flies.

in the world of fantasy.
where i thought.
everything is going smooth.
but.
have you ever loved and lost somebody.

it fades;
and slips away;
what am i in your eyes.
who am i to you.
do i mean something.
or rather. nothing.
everything jus changes.
how fast the changes are.
we cant stop them.

a temporary will always be a temporary.
no matter how hard i try.
no matter how hard i climb.
in the end.
im just a tool to be fooled.
BANG ME-

so yesterday.

you turn without looking back.
left.
and never came back.

everything went wrong.
i caused it.
i lost. i gained back.
i lost again.
and never came back the same.

erase the world of fantasy.
what a joke i had.
im a nobody.
let me ride back to reality.
WAKE UP.

here i am, once again
im caught into pieces.
cant deny it, cant pretend.
i thought YOU were the one.
broken up; deep inside.
you wont get to see the tears i cry.

HAVE YOU EVER;

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away
Though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just want to change the way the world goes round

Tell me
Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see That's the way I feel about you and me Baby have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking I should know 'Cos I loved and lost the day I let (you go)

everything was just a excuse i gave myself.

it seems like.
im happy.
at the expense of others' happiness.
and no.
i dont want.
they deserve the smiles.
i dont.

reality.

DEVASTATION;
where my world begins.

shann

2005-08-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

hey
im back (:

im worn out this week.
i am just hanging on.
by the thread.

homeworks.
remedials.
my god.
my IC.
i never do.
ytd deadline.
lols.
i called over.
thank god.
i can do by next week.

my week is.
homework.
remedials.
no com.
hysc.

i didnt do my IC.
cause.
i needed to get stuff from JP.
lol. not my stuff la.
but for the council (: .
i even skip my cca.
but i have no intention of lying.
i really wanted to make my IC.
was planning to do it after buying.
but found out.
i have no time la.
time flies.

so ytd.
i thought.
perhaps i ask zhi xian to come.
ps arh.
he not in my com.
but i still ask.
glad dat he agreed.
cos im not able to carry everything on my own.
yep.
he is not feeling good.
or rather.
both of us are.
so yeah.
silence.

we came to liberty market.
actually.
everything was planned.
wad to buy. and all.
but i found out.
it cannot work out.
cos.
when we have our meeting.
the prices are not exact.
so hmm.
i plan everything again.
running around
in the market.
like. siao cha bor.
(:
spent quite some time dere.
zhi xian was in charge of the money la.
lols.
den bought one set fers.
to see how much money lor.
zhi xian was. -.-?
wad u doing.
lols.
why nvr buy everything at one go.
lols. cos i gong ma.
later exceed i die lerh.
the people at the market were.
giving those puzzled looks.
the two buy so much at one go.
having grand party arh.
lols.
hmms.
calculated.
den i go buy ribbon.
he need to watch over the trolley ma.
bought ler meet him at B1.
we have a trolley of bags.
so i say.
we take out the bags lor.
put the trolley back.
he say.
nvm la.
got trolley wad.
den he pushed the trolley.
up to the escalator.
yes.
the common ones in the shopping centres.
not the flat one to the carpark. =s.
pro la he.
den we came out near the 7-11.
walk until the pet station there.
he say.
lets go back.
-.-.?
the trolley put there can liao.
..
lols.
i force him put back.
he say.
sometimes u r too nice.
oso not good.
LOL?
because he is the one pushing ma.
=D

den i stood there to look after the 9 bags.
lols. alot right.
=D
after like one min.
he came back.
so fast?!
he say.
of cos la.
he oso nvr go back liberty and put.
den i was. OMG?
he say.
haiya.
near the taxi stand.
there is trolley collection.
LOL.
at least.
he nvr anyhow throw la.
=DD

went back school.
blah. skip.

wrap the ____.
=DD
lols.
we nvr buy enough wrapper leh.
zhi xian was right.
=x .
my accuracy not good der.

me. fs. xinni do der.
v nice ok.
lols. no la.
but presentable.
(:

then we did the cards.
yeahh (:

went to have tuition.
lols.
went back at 11.
didn eat.
jus bath and slept.
(:

really must thank zhi xian la.
such a good junior.
mr lee scared i kena robbed.
-.-. LMAO?
but i understand.
cos.
alot ma.
lols.
thank you zhi xian (:
you made my job easier.
and a great help too (:

thanks xinni and fs.
lols.
i panicked.
when i couldnt find the letter.
for IC der.
lols.

thanks xinni.
she was there.
to calm me down la.
u rawk la!
HUGS (:

u say u busy.
i dont mind.
i can do it on my own.
u need to go where.
cannot do.
i dont mind.
i was more of.
disappointed.
rather than angry.
what i saw.
it jus totally hit me.
i dont know what to say.
what u treat me as.
who am i to you.
u left me with a dead end.
im nothing lor.
u say u busy.
i dont wan disturb u lor.
i rather carry everything on myself.
than complain.
isn't this understanding.
u mean ur busy is.
say u got this got that.
u nvr do.
saw u in the classroom.

i feel i did my best liao lor.
im speechless.
i duno wad i can say.
im not angry for u not coming.
im disappointed for.
i've been understanding.
only to see what i didnt expect.

i feel like crying la.

i did my best.
can u see how hard.
im trying.

i duno la.
i wan to scream out loud la.

ended up.
im jus a fool.
(:
so much for.
me and you doing together.
so much for involving you.
tell me to involve you.
u busy.

its so so contradicting.

i wish i can talk.
but i DONT KNOW how.
i seriously dont know.

teachers' day.
(:

things change.
i didnt see it coming.
now i do.

i just want to blog wad i feel.
no war intention.

shann

2005-08-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

went bck sch today.
though.
im on MC.
=x.

haas.
i hear RC peeps say.
double promotion.
wee.
im sergent.
=D

hmms.
did smth.
SC stuff.
lols.
went to get smth frm opp.
with zhi xian and yan jie.
zhi xian poor thing arh.
his finger swollen until. =x.
i duno whard to say.
haas.

dun be lazy arh.
mus remember to put.
the duno whard.
green colour thing.
=D

liddat lor.
lols.
tml.
tuition.
haas.

still feeling dizzy.
hmms.
round and round.

its time for you to break away.
for me to move on.
lols.
the importance not there la.
so wont be sad la horhs.

my life. my choice.
tis choice.
not that i want to.
but i have to.
being friends with me arh.
is u dao mei.
lol.
somemore know me for so long.
ps arh.
i nvr give any good memories.
but more of nightmares la arhs.

hope from now.
dun hav le la.

people say i come in between.
now no me liaos.
everything is okay ler.
im a terminator.
lols.

im not a friend that you can depend on.
was teling zhi xian.
how useless this exco is.
lols.
lucky he not in my com arhs.
(:

thats all bah.
round and round we go.
one big world (:

ainihenhao (:

wo kan dao de yong yuan.
bu shi yong yuan.
wo gei de bu duo.
wo zhi xi wang.
nikuailejiuhao (:

goodbye (:

if one day.

shan

2005-08-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

bah.
not feeling well.
=x.

blahblahblah.

hmms.

junyang =D

lols.
all the songs he sang.
i have some of dem.
=DD
v nice lor.
bon HOR.
(:

lols.
erms.
happeh burfday. (:
ur 3rd wish.
may it come true.
haas.
weknoweknow.
nods head* (:

sad dat derrick is out.
but nvm!
he will be back. =D
going for NS soon yeah.
lols.
im sure his fans will wait for him der.
jia you! =D

i cant wait to hear kelly's performance.
haas.
im neutral la.
lols.
jus wish all of dem the best (:

but honestly.
jun yang did well today.
clapclap* (:

project superstar.
hehs.

heaven knows is a nice song.
haas. (:

" if i love her,
i should let her go.
if she comes back.
i'll know she's mine."

hmms.
interesting yeah.
lols.
can change the HER to HIM.
vice versa ma.
(:

behind the smiles.
im feeling like.
fingers running through the razor blade.
not hatred.
lols.
jus sad la.

jun yang (:
be happy.
EVRERYDAY.

he romantic horhs.
lols.
taken frm project superstar web.
he was asked. what song he know/sing best.
he said. love is simple - the song.
he wants to sing THAT song to the girl he loves.
hmms.
nice horhs.
(:
thats my opinion niah horhs.
if u dun think the same way.
den nvm lorhs (:

hmms.
got into the audition.
busier than usual.

i end here.
(:

aihenjiandan (:

shan

2005-08-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

hmms.
im back.
lols.

today is 160805.
lols. =x
recalling-

150805; monday

erms.
lols.
newspaper duty as usual.
sc meeting during afternoon.
waited for ronald.
hmms.
met him at the canteen.
the mcs are discussing lorhs.
i was bored.
went out lors.
get smth to eat.
saw zhi xian and kim choo.
den chatted =D

they went home.
i went back sch.
hmms.
den hear dem discuss lors.
after a while.
me and ronald went to the pond dere.
lols.
talk a while.
den they wan to go home lerh.
den we oso wan to go home lor.
but hor.
smth happened..

i lost my bag.
LOL.
the one i carry der.
i was. OMG?
hmms.
dat time was bout.
ehs. 6 plus.
LOL.
den i go IT resource rm.
dun have lehs.
i went staff rm.
look for mr lee.
instead.
saw ms toh.
she say.
why so late haven go home?
i say.
z. find my bag. lost.

in the end..
ms toh and ronald.
help me find.
ms toh take keys frm GO.
IT resource rm 3.
z. i told her wrongly.
shld be rm 2.
she went down again. =x.
i went classroom.
DONT HAVE.

lols.
den i panic.
ronald was holding the piglet.
=D
hmms.
den i think lorhs.
den..
!!!
i remember la.
LOL.
i haven check.
the class where i coach the students.
for self-study.
=DD
i went..
mrs goh was ard to give me the key.
*PHEW*
i saw my BAG!
lols.

u can see the wide smile.
of cos la.
lols.
inside all my workshts leh.
if lost.
i die terribly. =x.

haas.
den i told ronald.
eh.
piglet my lucky star horhs.
=D
den went home.
saw ms toh!
den walked with her.
(:
went to bus stop.
ronald v funny siah.
u noe wad he do.
at fers.
we having meeting at IT resource.
in between.
i jus lie my head on the table lor.
den ronald.
i duno wad he do.
he take the -godnoeswad-
and comb my hair. -.-.
its smth like a toothbrush.
LOOKS like. but dun hav the bristles la.

he used that.
and comb piglet.
DOT leh.
frm meeting until bus stop.
he still got that -brush-
me and ms toh --"

hehs.
went home late lor.
bout 7 plus ahs.
all becos i forgetful lorhs.

hence.
i mus really thank them leh!
thank you ronald and ms toh (:
ni men HEN HAO LEH.
=DD

btw arhs.
piglet horhs.
are given by my friends (:
jun kiat.bon.wei jie.jaslyn.jamie.
xie xie (:

not only piglet.
every bday wish.
every bday hug.
every blessing.
every bday present.
big or small.
every bday sms.

and THAT surprise.
10:25 am

i want to thank all of you properly.
THANK YOU (:

OH YAH.
bday testimonials.
i jus saw dem today (:
nice and heartening.
THANK YOU (:

xiexienimen.

ytd common test.
confirm fail. (:

today.
i found out.
we got into the audition.

malumalumalu. tsk.
thats all i can say lorhs.

ok la.
tml got a maths assessment test.
z.
functions.
more z.

atleastthereasonisknown(:

shan.

2005-08-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

what for.

what for to hold on.
when nothing mattered.
what for.
when im just an extra.
what for.
when im not needed.
what for.
when i know.
what for.
when the ending is known.

what for.
to struggle in and out.
when i know.
when we know.
things are blatantly obvious.

i mean.
whats mine.
even if its lost someday.
it will be mine someday.
somehow.
but whats not mine.
no matter how i try.
i know.

there's not a need to ask.
i thought it over.
im like spoiling the happiness of everyone.
without me.
life will definitely be much better.
much more comfortable.
i will be sad.
im not strong enough to watch the ending.
but what can i do.
not much of a choice.

i have nothing to lose.
there is nothing to start.
nothing starts.
nothing ends.
nothing at all.

reality.
i face it.

(:

2005-08-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

im here to say.
im touched.
really.

thanks(:

audrey.
roxanne.
richie.
khamisah.
shu juan.
jaslyn.
jamie.
all my classmates who wished me.

julaiha.
feez.
yong xing papa.
xinni.
rachel.
thanks (:

mr lee.
ms toh.

sis ruxin.
julette.
tina.
jing shen.
jia jun.
shen hong.
cleo.

all my spiritual friends.

to all:

i am touched.
words cant say enough.
nor words can express.
yeah.
im crying.
but thats tears of joy.
(:

presents.
big or small.
i like them all.
cleo.
thanks.
thanks for ur hug.
(:
its a warm bday present.
really. (:

thank you.
really.
thank you.
i swear.
dey are all from the bottom.
of my heart.

tml.
i blog a long and proper one.
but i want to say.
right here.
on my burfday.

i love 3e3.
i love xiao revolution.
i love my spiritual friends.
i love my friends.
i love.
everyone.

and i love YOU too. (:

i thank GOD.
u all.
are gifts from GOD.

thanks.
you NI MEN duo HAO. (:

shann.

2005-08-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

yo.
im back.
haas.

bout one hr later.
im going to be 15.
lol.
old liao.
now things are running through my mind.

things that left unsaid.
undone.
unspoken.
i cant let them go.
i just couldnt.
leave them all behind.
they are just a part of my life.

through one year;
hahs.
many happened.
this year.
im stressed out.
totally.
hahs.
yeahs. cries often.
but.
there are smiles here and there.
which led me out of darkness.

my family;
i've seen thoroughy.
till now i still wonder.
do my parents love me.
as much like my sister.
lols.

im sad la.

BUT.

i love all my friends out there.
who have helped me survive through.
i leave the rest for tml to say.
haa.
my thank you speech la. (:

sing to myself.
(:

haas.
update later. (:
leave for 13 aug.
lols.
=D

wang zhe ni.
tu ran yi zhen XIN TONG.

wo zou bu kai la.
hais.

even though i pretend.
that i was gone.
you are always be in my heart la.

2005-08-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

fcuk la.
im so vulgar now can.

irresponsible.
you are just so.
full of nonsense.

im so bored la.
tml got phy conference la.
so many hw la.
so many tests la.
i wan to go tuition la.

hais.
everything changes la.

zzz
head big big la.

anyway.
happy 40th burfday to singapore.
i love singapore la.

reach out for the skies (:

z la.
ainiaiwo la.

shann.

2005-08-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

untitled;

I open my eyes
I try to see try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

behind these hazel eyes;

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

i dont know how.
and i dont know why.
i know.
i brought upon this.
not a need to apologise to me.
for.
its my wrongdoing.

now.
here; tear me into pieces.
here; erase me like how you clean the whiteboard a total white.
here; delete me like how you press the delete button

u dont have to reply me.
with a unwilling heart.
(:

shirley is useless.
shirley is sadistic.
shirley is selfish.
shirley is petty.
shirley is bad.

shirley scuks;

tears descended.
and no.
i cant make it go away.

060805.

310705

2005-07-31T23:10:00.000-07:00

THANK GOD I FOUND YOU;*

holy smokes.
condolences.

today had cg meeting.
make up cg meeting.
thought will end bout 1.
surprisingly.
it ended bout 12.

however.
it did not end for me.
for N28 and W298.
spiritual hunger.
be it boys or girls.
cried buckets.
i felt hopeless.
i just.
wanted to cry out to GOD.
(:

another day tml.
hais.

is that a spiritual breakthrough.
or rather.
nightmare begins.

...

but still.
thank god i found you.
i was lost without you.

hah.
(:

300705

2005-07-30T23:47:00.000-07:00

YO(:
im back larhs.
lols.
hmms.
busy whole week.
wo de tian arh~

TODAY.
hehs.
u noe wad.
i screamed in church.
YEAH.
CHURCH.
haas.
i scream.
i shout.
i cry.
i was like a mad kid.
shouting like nobody's business.
(:

i took a step of faith.
went up.
a sister prayed for me.
my.
it worked wonders.
i duno how and duno why.
i just started screaming.
i started coughing.
lols.
i feel cleansed.
i feel no shame. (:

i dont regret going for 2 services.
spending more hours for church.
rev. mike connell rawks.
my sisters rawk.
my brothers rawk.
harvesters rawk.
i love THAT sister.
thank you (:

the warmth.
after hugging sister after sister. (:
THAT sister actually knew what i'm thinking.
she told me what she knew.
wahs.
i was dumbfounded.
and yeah.
tears came. (:

goodbye devil.
thou i know one devil is out.
seven devils are surrounding.
fret not.
bring it on.
im basked in the glory of GOD.

haas.
im so holy ehs.
lols.
at least.
dats wad i feel right now.
:D

exciting horhs.
lols.
xDD

hmms.
i know u wont bother to come and see this anymore.
but i just type it out.
can see you decide to move on.
given the gestures and actions you tried.
yeah. im here to say. i get it.
(:

if u have moved on.
all the best. (:
greater power comes greater responsiblities.
(:

since nothing started.
then let nothing ends. (:

pathes crossed.
and never met.
when will be the day they meet.
it may come.
it may not.

you are something.
to you.
im nothing. (:

my sunshine. (:

AIK SONG-
lols.
really paisehh lehhs.
THANK YOU (:
public thank you.
lols.
honoured anot.
:D

AIWOAINI (:

shann

2005-07-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

250705-

today.
haas.
erms.
SC BURFDAY CELEBRATION (:
wee~
thanks clarence (:
good asst head i have. :D
haas.
today.
i am so brave.
lols.
i use highlighter hit pengxiang.
ms kwek ask.
we wan to kill each other arh.
LOL.
he not gentleman one.
use newspaper hit me.
lols.
BUT HENG.
nvr aim properly. =P
ok lahs.
at least he didnt hit me.
as much as i do. (:
LOL. IM VIOLENT. (:

AHH BU;
you know how i feel now.
it isnt that simple.
but neway.
who understands shirley.
even she herself dun know who she is.
if i said anything hurtful.
im sorry.
i dont mean it.

now that things have gone so wrong.
i know.
we cannot U-turn.

if i write.
if i say.
and it ends up being redundant.
den.
i rather keep it to myself.
(:

care. or dont care.
it doesnt matter i guess.
i know the ans thou.

takes a lifetime to build a friendship.
but takes a min to break it.

cheng zhang de tong ku.
ye shi you dai jia.

moments.
ba ta wang le bah.

so near. yet so far.

shann

2005-07-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

210705-

to me.
something did go wrong.

hmms.
tml got phy test.
siann-
open notes test.
interesting. (:

past few days.
busy lorhs.
hehs.
tml.
promotion test.
piang ehh.
now practising mamaras.
i sound so weird.
=x

i suddenly duno wad to blog.
hmms.
okays.
i guess i go. (:

just let it go.

SHANN*

2005-07-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

190705.

YO (:

hmms.
turning back -

160705-

something happened.
tears came (:

170705-

nothing much lorhs.
cell group meeting.
haas. nice (:

180705 -

ehhs.
shuang larhs.
jus that my studies.
hmms. jia you lorhs.
im going to make it (:
XINNI -
thank me arhs.
WELCOME (:
who ask you nvr go in lehhs.
LOL.
:D

190705 -

haas.
phototaking*
its the time of the year again :D
3e3 rawks can!
u cant imagine how creative we are. (:
our fun shot. LOL.
we include an UMBRELLA.
farnie larhs.
and yeahh. im loving it. (:
i sit in front lorhs.
short le larhs.
nvm lorhs.
get to sit beside mdm lye. (:
sat beside KHAMISAH!
hehs. NICE LARH.
i confirm will buy the photos :D

den lessons.
hmms.
nothing muchh.
after schh.
phototaking*
(:
HYSC 2K5*
xinni was so funny.
she more gan cheong den me.
LOL.
she keep adjusting my tie.
but of cos.
make me look neater marhs.
haas. i love her can.
she rawks ok. (:
den arhs.
FUN SHOT. xDD
tis is so cool can.
LOL.
i took out my blazer.
gave it to xinni!
LOL. nice marh :D
den i pull ronald to take with me.
i jus enjoyed it SO MUCH (:

hmms.
den red cross phototaking.
tis year. got fun shot.
LOL. nice oso larhs. (:
but u know. i know.
i look ugly in rc uni derh. :D

im still awkward larhs.
lols.

AMANDA/ MICHELLE *

you good.
i good.
everybody good.

LOL :D

CLEO*

i know you wont see this derh.
LOL.
thanks for your prayer (:

hmms.
HAPPEH BURFDAE STEVEN (:

3e3 rawks.
xiao revolution 2005 (:

and she goes.
WEE~

you just never seem to see.
afterall.
it jus came without warning (:

shann.

2005-07-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

yuan fang (:

hmms.
today.
nothing much.
haas.
went home early.
rest.
yar.
sounds crappy eh.

perhaps.
im right.
things took a drastic turn.
things are not the same.
i never view the same way again.
paths never met.

perhaps.
we both let go.
i thought it will turn better.
but no.
im wrong.
so near yet so far.
blank stares.

i guess.
i have to get used to it.
i just have to.

hah.
more blahhs coming (:

i have alot in mind.
but decided not to blog it out.
i have so much to say.
but in the end.
i guess.
it doesnt matter to you.

i hanged on dearly.
i swallowed.

AHH.
erased.

BAH.

shann

2005-07-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

NI BU ZAI;

rawks lahs. (:

erms today.
lols.
nothing much.
stress lar.
nvm (:

mr wong came to look for me.
whoa.
im still in ELDDS.
nvm lor.
got performance.
=.=?!
BAH-

erm.
got phy. remedial.
roxanne rawks lar. (:

hehs.
went to look for mr wong.
he not there.
went up.
saw ken.kai xian. chin how. eugene.
yar lor.
den i went down again.
i went up again.
lols.
nvm. BLUR-
den ask some stuff lar.
hehs.
eugene and kai xian went home.
i ask chin how to teach a maths lar.
he always say. leng leng arh~
walaos. whack you arh. LOL.

den somehow.
talk until somewhere.
i was the one talking.
LOL.
their ears rotting lar.
for like 2 hrs lor.
LOL.
6.40 den ken say.
whoa.
so late liao arh.
talk on the way lar.
later we kena locked inside sch. LOL.

den crapped with them lar.
they rawk can.
im so rubbistic lar.
lols.

my story nice mahs.
:D

more blahhs coming arh.
HOMEWORK-

seems you dont mind either.
but im the one who started it fers.
cant blame.
(:

HEHS.
im moving ON (:

shann.

2005-07-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

SO YESTERDAY;

as things ran through my mind.
tears came down.
i cant help it.

normal day.
with two tests.
bombarded with homework and revision.
it might be a good thing too.
i just want to do well.

think back.
it has been a long time.
since i went mad.

tears just seem to rush down.
things came crashing.

let it go.

shann

2005-07-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

blahh.

today arh.
woke up at 7am.
despite of my sickness.
of cos lar.
my husband more impt.
:D
ey. dun think slant.
is xinni kay. LOL.

fers time woke up so early.
normally i wake up bout 8am.
(:

wore sch uniform.
lols.
i feel v weird.
everybody all looking at me.
as i came down frm my hse.
dey are giving me looks like.
" wah. this mei mei arh. wear sch uni
bluff mama go out with friends is it"
=.=.

lols.
walked to jurong spring cc.
eh.
i was early.
lols.
den saw mdm lye.
yi liang. me. sing ye.
helped her lorhs.
set up our booth.
haas.

erm yeahhs.
den many people come lorhs.
got fuhua peeps too.
saw JIA YU.
WEE~
my netball friend.
GA or GS derhs.
pro de ok. (:
haas. nice hairstyle u got dere worhs.
saw erm.
farhanah!
paisehh. if i spell ur name wrongly arhs.
lols. she kena pester by me. LOL.
until khamisah came. xD

wahahas~
walked ard lorhs.
fun! (:

den smth happen lorhs.
xinni noes.
(:
peeps who saw arh.
its not wad u all think lar.

den.
had a private talk with xinni.
haas. (:

yeahh lorhs.
bored lar.
went to yee shian's hse.
LOL.
walaos.
her singing.
go superstar le lahhs.
(:

went jp after dat.
lols.
went to look for 3B chin guide.
dun have.
dots.
no choice lorhs.
went home.
lols.

btw arhs.
i saw the person who called me at jp.
the gap camper.
lols.

drenched in the rain.
i love the rain lar.
:D

still sick.
mus revise my sciences and maths!
(:

another busy week awaiting.
lols.

i will still say the same.
so yesterday.

(:

shann.

2005-07-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

its been a long week.
toturous one. lols.
with wad.
homework lar.
and tests.

friday.
WHOA.
in schh.
haas.
mdm lye found me in toilet.
sweating in pain.
lols.

went home.
didnt take 2 tests.
haiyar.
mon hav to mahs.
still the same. =x.
whoa.
pain. fever.
went to take a rest.
but i knew i cannot rest long.
when i got smth to do arh.
i cannot slp in peace one.
lols.
so i quickly went to the library.
yarhs.
climbed the overhead bridge.
lols.
with my heavy bag.
:D
rushed back to sch.
with the research and all.
dey say.
dateline postpone to next mon.
nvm lar.
at least its done. (:

den to and fro lor.
went out to look at red cross.
den went bck class.
yeahs.

long week.
honestly.
im stressed. (:
haiyar.
who isnt.
:D

today.
still not feeling well either.
went to church.
haas.
saw lihao.
LOL.
i thought he got church de marhs.
:D

yeahs.
discussed with xinni bout tml.
lols.
my duty starts at 12.
i go there bout 8.
LOL. :D
i love it (:

thats yours.
i should return.
hope your card is working.
cos arh.
the machine is abit siao.
keep jamming.

if that is.
now. it will mean.
i have no trust in you.
and hey.
do you want a friend that dont trust you.
no.
(:

dunno if ur nick is for me neway.
i guess not.
just curious. haas.

i learn.
i believe.
you'll be happier someday.

CAUSE*
if its over.
let it go.

who knows.
come tomorrow.
it will seem.

so yesterday*

u said.
if i drop.
drop with happiness.

but i know.
i can never be happy.

i drop.
but somehow.
im sad.

BLAH.
it just so.
so contradicting.

laugh it off.
and let it go.

i believe you will happier this way. (:

shann.

2005-07-02T21:44:00.000-07:00

today.
after church.
went to jp alone.
hmms.
saw a guy with his two friends.
den i thought wad.
suddenly he ask.
" u are the gap camp one hor? "
smth liddat.
i was shocked lahs. lols.
cos he not in my grp derh.
den. i didnt expect him to remember.
yarh.
gap camper. (:
still remembered.
when i went out and took the award.
haas.

yup.
so. yarhs.

im so bottled up right now.
tears are waiting to flow.

now i can see.
now i know.

i give up.
i shld jus erase.
wad for hold on.

i dont want to know anymore.

i know i am blur.
i tend to do wrong.
because of my problems.
friends come and go.

but while you are angry.
wont you jus take a look back at me.
i am trying.

but i know.
how hard i try.
im not able to catch up.

now.
i dont know.

i guess.
i have not found myself yet.
im sorry.
if i've been a nightmare.
instead of being a good companion.

i just leave.

shann.

2005-06-25T23:20:00.000-07:00

erm yar.
sat.

today.
woke up early.
did hw.
lols.
not guai lar.
lols.

waited fer jaslyn and jamie come my hse.
hmms.
did ss project.
den jaslyn had to go off fers.
she say she will try to come back.
lols.
she going imm to get initial D - jay de poster.
lols.

den jamie and I dug out some info.
erms. yarhs. lols.
did until 5 plus.
jamie went off.
den i went cut hair fers.
smsing jaslyn on the way.

LOL.
went to the salon.
erms.
all guys?
as in the hairdresser.
(:
den erms.
i let my sis cut fers.
only got one hairdresser free.
i saw one guy.
erms. shuai. lols.
heys. im not fetish kay.
jus complimenting niahs.
xDD
dat time i was thinking.
how nice to let him cut.
haas.
in the end.
he is really the one siah.
i say. cut layer and trim.
i dun wan hair so thick.
walaos.
the fers layer so SHORT?!
erms yarhs. lols.
but hair cut liaos.
wad to do.
lols.
nbm lorhs.
xD
he look abit like zhang dong liang.
lols.
my sis say derh.
den i think back.
yar horh.
abit lahs. lols.
xDD
he got chat with me while cutting. lols.
say cannot tie hair until so tight.
(:

den sms with jaslyn.
lols.
she actually wan to come.
but 6.30 liaos.
she still at JEC.
den she say why not 10 am tml come.
lols. why not. xDD

okays.
tml i oso packed.
now im rushing thru the rest of my hw.
* faint *

liddat lorhs.
lols.
sch reopening lerhs.

talked to ahh bu feez halfway msn.
she offline. =.=.
i told her bout my husband.
lols.

husband - xinni.

im not les or wad lahs.
lols.

okays.
i got to rush.
tml update. MAYBE.

wo zhu ni kuai le.

without me.
life for you.
will be happier. (:

there's always them.
im nothing but a small character.
lols. or even. nothing at all lahs. =.=.

smth like acting in a drama serial.
they are the main characters.
im the erm. extra. or backup.

yarhs.

and i get it.

got hidden message the previous entry?
find it for urself. (:

lols.
tears behind a smile.
back in lala land. (:

dang ni gu dan.
ni hui xiang qi shui.*

i just >3 this song.
for some reason.
(:

shann.

2005-06-24T23:50:00.000-07:00

hi (:

yup.
my life is pretty routined.
erms.
today.
went to my mum's place.
yarhs.
met cassandra ong hui zhi.
i duno how spell her name.
pardon me (:

haiyar. if i got any camera.
i sure take pic with her derh.
no worries.
i guess got time. (:

yup.
im back in my lala land.
nothing much neway.

the smiles are back in ur life now.
you are much better this way.
ur smiles can be revived by them.
which im glad.
my prayer god heard it. (:

the nightmares i've given.
im sorry.
i nvr regret helping.
why.
because its always a joy to me.
always.

in tis case.
i know i can retreat.
perhaps.
i know.
u will be much happier.
lose 1.
yet gain many.
isnt that good. (:

i will keep you in prayer.
all the best. (:

teared.
cried.
give up.

u are not gonna give him up.
and hey. jia you (:
there will be a solution to that.
believe. (:

few days.
and its back to sch.
i miss my class.
yet.
i dun wan to go back.

tears will flow.
smiles will be faked.

i know it.
erased.

intensive' 05 (:

2005-06-21T23:32:00.000-07:00

BOO.
im feeling - AHH

z.
@&*#^%.
okay.
rubbish lar.

yahhs.
intensive (:

13 june;

wahhs.
woke up early lorhs.
lols.
den i dilly dally.
ask my dad drive me.
lols.
expected lar.
i was the latest.
lols.
i still thought im the earliest.
*laughs*

denn i went hall.
lols.
fers thing.
ya lar.
piano. *gleams*
hehs.
long tym nvr touch le mahhs.
play abit niahh.
den mus gather them lerhs.
we went to our own committee.
student welfare! *grins*
den clarence nvr come.
apparently.
he's sick.
z. takkaire arh boy.
hmms.
den later.
we gather outside the hall.
lols.
move here move there.
sat with xinni.
in front was. feez ahh bu.
behind was richie and marcus.
erm yar.
den mr lee filled us in.
briefing lorhs.
lols.
den we slack abit there.
lols.

okays.
den girls took 3e2 and 3e3 for our bunks.
boys 3e4.
lols.
den we cleaned the classrm fers.
stacked up the chairs and tables.
den went to the back of the hall to get mattresses.
LOL.
den the boys.
they decided to take the whole trolley.
some girls decided to take a free ride.
LOL.
funny siahh.
(:
i was there laughing lorhs.
bay yeh (:

hao lerhs.
den we were told to get our stationaries a t-shirt.
lols.
went to the hall.
saw su (:
told us to blindfold ourselves.
lols.
i knew it larhs.
otherwise.
the t-shirt fer wad.
:D

hmms.
i was scared lorhs.
dat person lead me.
to dunnoe where.
lols.
but later part.
i trust that person lar. (:

after that.
erm.
i sat down lorhs.
den stood up again. =.=.
erm.
sort of formed a line lorhs.
den we walked.
haiyar.
dance studio lorhs.
lols.
i was curious to know who was
in front and behind me.
hehs.
den we sat down inside.
su told us to feel.
the palms of the people beside us.
lols.
then the person right beside me.
slap my hand.
i was. ?!?
lols.
den we took out our blindfold.
it was lihuan.
LOL.
saw.
lihuan.yvonne.suhaimi.reuben.
hmms.
toegether we form.
the joyous five (:
did our motto and vision.
- where contributions earn respect-
with joy. we see hope.
and
with hope. we pursue.
nice?
(:
yup.
den watched a movie.
remember the titans*
oh. it rawked. (:

had our reflections.
yeahhs.
went to take a shower.
waited for FGL meeting to be over.
while waiting.
talked bout ghosts with kim choo.
lols.
scary arhs. =x
den saw FGLs coming down.
went to the dance studio.
lols.
got piano.
erms. lols. u noe lorhs.
have fun with it.
lols.
den su came in.
had our sharing.
lols.
nice (:
went to slp after dat.
cldnt slp.
and i feel im a nuisance lorhs.
sorry to girls who were slping the same classrm as me.
i was coughing all the way.
me myself oso buay tahan.
lols.
went out.
looked at the sky. =.=.
den kah kian saw me.
he gave me a cup of coffee or milo.
forgot lerhs. lols.
but he gave me a hot drink.
thanks (:
saw ronald on the wae.
lols. paisehh.
im like no mood liddat.
went back to slp.
and yeahs.
thats all (:

erms. 6 plus wake up.
wahhs. v cold lehs.
hmms.
went to have our morning exercise.
lols.
had our highs and lows.
atiqah smile (:
yupp.
left sc fer a while.
ate breakfast with yazid. khamisah. richie.
cos we have remedial.
or rather.
test. =.=.
variations and graphs.
erms.
lols. okay lorhs.
god knows whether i will pass.
den nvr teach.
do CIP.
i rest abit.
den do abit of papercut.
sry i didnt complete. =x
after dat.
went bck dance studio.
erms.
dey got play one game.
yeahs.
den von showed me.
wad dey did.
yup.
well done (:

after dat.
is treasure hunt.
v fun arhs. lols.
10 tasks.
my grp colour.
YELLOW. xD
had a hard time searching for the yum yum task.
lols.
we hav to do a dance. a speech. and many more.
the dance was. lols.
very fun.
suhaimi so gao xiao arhs.
lols.
(:
thou we lost.
but hey.
its okay.
i really had fun.
with pam.
for dat day.
it was not only joyous 5.
but joyous 6.
and i love it. (:
hugged pam.
haas.
and really.
mus thank her.
she did a fabulous job on the speech.
thanks (:

den.
after dinner.
we got songs.
world of our own.
(:
nice song.
den.
something happened.
im one of them too.
den called my sis.
did the lyrics.
yup.
i was sorry.
i felt horrible.
i didnt set a good example.
wad kind of exco i am.
yar. a bad one.
im glad su came back.
i was praying hard for it.
and yeahs.
tears flowed.
hugged some of them.
(:
later on.
we watched a movie.
bout 3 am.
lols.
bend it like beckham*
lols.
nice show. rawked (:
thanks small ronald (:
i appreciate it. (:
end like 5 i think.
everyone was feeling sleepy.
den su gave us surprises.
lols.
real surprises lehhs.
we mus do up 2 proposals.
bbq. repaint sc rm. concert.
finish by 6pm.
dats already wednesday.
last day.
i went to the bbq team.
and dey jus continued all the way.
till its tym to do exercises.
lols..qiang marhs. clap clap ..

i wasnt feeling well.
so i slept.
im sorry.
i didnt help for the proposal.
after breakfast.
went back dance studio.
duno why.
mr lee insisted i go classrm rest.
and i guess.
i really needed one.
had a heart to heart talk with mr lee.
teared inside.
thanks mr lee. (:
after the talk.
i went to the boy's bunk to slp.
lols.
was crying abit lahhs.
lols.
den some boys came in.
scared me.
=.=.
i slept for a long tym.
by the time i woke up.
its lunch time.
i felt i mus do smth.
so went to IMM.
bought the stuffs.
nice time (:
went back sch.
took 334.
lols. goodness.
i slp until so shuang can.
haas.
reached sch.
and my.
very busy.
lols.
saw yazid painting the rm.
great job ok! (:
peeps that worked on the sc rm.
thumbs up (:
den gather joyous five.
practised on our family grp performance.
lols.
i was abit fustrated at that time.
but after that.
im alright. (:

went down to bbq.
lols.
rawk worhs. (:
after dat.
went back dance studio.
practiced on our sc performance.
im ur angel. (:

and yeahs.
concert.
lols.
well done. (:
the parents are v nice.
hehs xD
after concert.
led parents to see our new sc rm.
man.
its really excellent. (:

den.
excos met with su.
final sharing.
hug one another.
in a circle.
z. i cried lahhs.
hey excos.
together as one (:
erm yeahs.
den yazid.
takkaire ah boy (:
su hugged everyone.
man. i cannot tahan lerhs.
jus cried and cried.
she told me something.
which i will always remember.
hugged for very long tym. (:
hugged all the excos.
yupp. i wun forget. (:

had joyous five sharing.
lols.
supposed to be tearful derh lorhs.
lols.
turn out.
we all laugh like siao.
of course.
there was a time of seriousness.
yupp.
but overall.
its funny lahhs. lols.
went back to dance studio.
final sharing.
as a whole council.
hugged nash.
i was worried.
who is my warm fuzzy arhs.
lols.
i scared no one come hug me.
lols. xD
and i got a surprise.
yes. a nice surprise.
it is crystal!
i nvr expected lehhs.
but im very happy ok. (:
den sang im ur angel.
world of our own.
this year.
not much of crying.
lols. so people.
bring back all ur tissues.
lols. xDD
had a grp picture.
yeahhs.

to su :

su.
u might not read this.
but i still thank you here.
im sorry for wad i've done to hurt you.
i thank you.
for your guidance.
for your advices.
for the laughter.
for the hugs.
and for that lil secret.
i will miss you.
and i will remember you.
forget me not (:
i love you not only as a trainer.
but as a friend too. (:
best wishes from me.
thanks a billion.
for walking into my life.
and colouring it.
u have left.
beautiful footprints.
which.
i will nvr erase. (:

to mr lee:

mr lee,
u might not be reading this.
throughout my sec 2 and 3 life.
u'v lent a listening ear to me always.
whenever the whole world seems to shut me up.
you are always there.
i thank you.
for the laughter you brought to my life.
for the lessons to learn in life.
im grateful.
and im honoured.
to have met you in school.
i look upon you as a friend.
a friend whom i can turn to.
thank you.
i can never thank enough.
but.
thanks a billion.
with you.
my life is never tearful.
but filled with joy. (:

a new chapter unfolded.
called : hysc' 05

and im loving it. (:

shann.

2005-06-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

temporary kid;
face it.

something i learnt during the intensive.
' im hurt coach. i aint dead'
i felt this applies to me too.

im hurt.
but im definitely not dead.
unless. to you. i am.

sorry guys.
i promise i will blog bout the intensive tml.
cos i dun wann to rush out the entry on this.
for i felt.
im going to write a good and proper entry on intensive yeahhs.

good or bad.
big or small.
i just have to face it all.

helplessness.
hopelessness.
fear.
empowered me.
i simply dont know what to do.
nor i know my way.

im tired.
tired of going around in circles.
hey.
arent you tired too.

during cg.
God told me this.
you have to let go somehow.
you just have to learn.
you just have to cry over it.
you just have to pretend.
you have to.

i HAVE to.

time is never.
never lenient.
i wish i can turn back time.
but no.
i know i cant.

i just feel like breaking down.
afterall.
its emptiness.

temporary.
people walking in.
and just walked out.
disappeared ever since.
for different reasons and all.

im just holding back.

shann;

2005-06-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

hellos.
:D

im back.
hehs.
from where.
sc intensive.
(:

a new chapter unfolded.
hehs.
it rawked.
(:

people wondered.
im sick.
yet i still go.
when i know.
it will mean nights where i cant sleep.
but hey.
i just love my sc family.
i just love them to bits.
every single one of them.
and i must say.
i love su.
i love song.
thou he wasnt with us as our guidance this year.
but yeahhs. (:
and.
i love mr lee.
i love my exco peeps.
:D

i will be updating tml.
on sc intensive.
it will be v long.
so yeahhs.
watch this space yeahhs.

im still sick.
haas.
need lots of rest. (:

perhaps.
i really need to take a step back.
afterall.
i know im just not needed there.
i just know it.
but im not angry.
just feel.
yeahs.
i have to take a step back.

let the memories of me be erased.
afterall.
im jus temporary.
(:

hehs.
one love. (:

sc peeps.
do watch the space tml kay.
(:

we just got a lil world of OUR own. *

gotta stay alive.
we will survive.
i believe.
(:

i love you.
you.
and still YOU.

watch this space.
xD

sick shann; *

shann;

2005-06-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

hellos.
im back.
xD

im still sick larhs.
lols.
went fer the emerge.
i just went on shouting.
lols.
woke up.
BAD sore throat.
my voice.
haas.
completely haywire.

i maybe really cannot go intensive lerhh.
later mama going check on me thru phone.
if she hear i talk until like im dying.
guess i hav to take mc and rest at home.
i really need a rest.
(:

im mean.
yar.
i look like happy.
cheerful and stuff.
but.
lols.
i hide it inside.
(:

i need a rest.
budden.
i still wann to go.
xDD
thou i noe.
confirm v tired derh.
machiam like marathon.
cannot slp de ok.

xinni arh~
how lehhs.
when i saw ur sms last nite arh.
im v sad.
i scared later cannot go.
i waited V LONG fer this camp lehhs.
sure got fun. plus. jelling up lorhs.
and i wann hug you. LOL.
really lahhs.
im not les okaes.
xinni understand. (:

i miss my friends so much.
esp 3e3.
i miss the crap.
i miss the laughter.

i miss sitting near yi liang they all.
i miss hearing them talk rubbish.
and. jokes.
hehs.
i miss calling ck jay zhou.
LOL.
i miss my original place.
i miss my TABLE.
i miss crapping with everyone of them.

in the end. i realise.
a class which i disliked initially.
i miss it so much.

looking back this year.
yar.
i laughed until mad.
i cried alone in the toilet.
lols.
i had many both.
good and bad.
the crying part.
now come to think of it.
its rather funny.
i mean who run all the way.
from sec 3 block 2nd floor.
to sec 1 block 3rd floor.
jus to cry at the girl's toilet there.
hehs.
that is me. (:

i duno if i had grown up.
after all these trials given.
but i hope.
i have grown to be stronger.

and i really found the meaning to this.
whats mine.
even it is lost.
it will come back to me someday.
whats NOT mine.
it will never come back to me.
thou i can wait long.
but. i know.
(:

im dying.
constant rate of coughing.
with BAD sore throat.

hais.
i dun ask.
i dun hear.
i jus let it be.
and let the happiness.
dwell ard the corner.

next tym den i post the lyrics.
a v nice song. (:

shann

2005-06-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

man.
YOU.
can just really.
make my blood.
BOIL.
to the HIGHEST limit.

im sick.
yah.
one with no voice.
and YOU.
made me SHOUT.
to make you OPEN your mouth.
hey.
can you just show me some respect.
hellos.
u can watch tv.
u cannot just get up.
for just 5 mins.
and empty the dustbin.
why.
inside is almost full.
of YOUR stuff.
sweet.
chocolates.
potato chips.
soft drink can.
im NOT the one ok.

ask you nicely.
dun ans.
ask sec third tym.
u DONT ans.
dont u know tolerance has its limits.
ask you hav the clothes been brought in and folded.
hey.
i never ask you to do.
just ASK.
u only need to ANSWER.
yes or no.
but sadly.
you just treat.
as if.
i dont EXIST.
and CONTINUED.
watching TV.

many always give in to you.
BUT HEY.
its NOT for granted.

and i can see my parent is angry.
WHY.
because WE quarrel.

yahhs.
i know.
my fault again.
always it will be.
whose fault?
SHIRLEY.

HANNAH.
i know LAHS.
i NO voice liao lahhs.
ABIT oso dun have LAHS.
u HAPPY.

Z!

shann;*

2005-06-08T19:45:00.000-07:00

hellos.
(:

woke up at 7 in dah morning.
yeahhs.
7.
do wad.
chemistry.
lols.
im not guai okays.
was sick on mon and tue.
not able to study mahhs.
study. tidy up file.
hmms.
i nvr take my medicine. LOL.
=x.
okays.
went take a shower.
iron my uniform.
lols. dunnoe why.
i feel my uni is v. crumpled.
haiyahhs.
my skills not good larhs.
lols. (:
heys. im a student okays.
alright.
a student who looks like an aunty.
xD
went to schh.
ya larhs.
no voice.
lols.
me and my friends.
were like.
duck and dogs.
meaning.
we were not able to communicate with each other.
LOL.
yy came and asked me.
' u lost ur voice ? '
lols.
eileen ans her.
' wahs. u so clever'
LOL.
okays. i find it funny larhhs.
xD
true oso.
if i can talk.
dun nid wryte on a piece of paper le marhhs.
(:
had chemistry test.
heng lahhs.
thought nvr get 80.
well.
did my best to learn lerhs.
just. cross fingers. (:
still having fever and stuff.
i dun elaborate much on my illness. (:

bought lunch and stuff fer family.
went bck home.
laze ard.
im tired.
lols.
sick mahhs.
xD

i wann to watch zero to hero.
while i was sick.
i missed two eposides lerhhs.
excluding some others.
i study.
LOL.
eyer.
i always v suay derhs.
watch the show.
den v nice.
DEN.
i nvr watch ending.
last tym holland v.
i got camp.
lols.
maybe me and the show.
no fate.
*laughs*

man.
i miss this year emerge.
which is.
something i really look forward to.
but hahs.
no fate.
(:

wo de tou nao DA DA .

thanks ronald and xinni.
really.
thanks. (:

*coughs*
fever coming back.
z.
dun come back lahhs.
lols.

kays.
(:

hais.
.

extraordinary. (:

STUDY. hehs.

dangnigudan.nihuixiangqishui*

shann.

2005-06-07T18:50:00.000-07:00

yup.
didnt blog ytd.
cant even get up.
z.

went to see doc in the afternoon.
was having high fever. sore throat.
blahhs. u name it.
i was having high fever the whole day.
brain got burnt.
lols..

oh yahhs.
i slept the whole day ytd.
haas. pig de generation ehhs.
got mc.
so didnt go fer maths remedial.
im really unwell.
thus didnt manage to go.
i was still having fever when i woke up at 8.
guess i missed quite alot today.
have to read it up on my own.

still no voice.
cant talk yet.
feeling weak and stuff.
i dont feel like eating.
cook instant noodles.
guess wad.
i only drank the soup.
lols..
my fever is coming back again.
i have no more mc.
have to go back sch tml.
fer chemistry test.
wonder how am i go to take the test.
in this condition.
hais.

sorry i cldnt make it to the emerge this year.
vv sorry i cldnt come and watch ur performance.
im sure it will be fantastic one. (:

things arent the same anymore.
and hey.
i expected this.

oks.
i have to go.
study chemistry.

im sick.
im tired.
i dont wish to know anymore.
stop making fun of me alright.

blahhs.

2005-06-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

sweat*

im sick.
real sick.
difficulty getting up.
i do housework.
and had a rest.
woke up.
found out.
i have fever. =.=.
wrong tym to be sick.
z.

i dont want to eat.
i want to work.
keep on working.
to cast off all the thoughts.
but somehow.
i knew.
i must not live in denial.
the fact is.
its erased.

used to complain to you.
even about small minor stuffs.
now i have to get used to.
complaining to myself.
hahs.
(:

im busy.
iron.
fold.
tidy bed.

if i dont iron.
my mama no uniform wear.
zz.
no choice lahhs.
great responsibility.

whole body is as if.
on fire.
z.
kay lahhs.
maybe i old liaos.
*shrugs*

God is giving me another trail.
this tym is worse.
hais.
i wish i know what to do.

im tired.
i just want to.
break away.
lols.
cant larhs.
no money can go where.
(:

i wish to talk to someone.
who i can just cry.
and let it all out.
but hey sadly.
there isnt any.

well.
hahs.
no use grumbling.
(:
just.
get used to it.

okays.
i got to rush.
(:

(:

2005-06-04T22:54:00.000-07:00

heyy
(:

short post kay.
erm.
im feeling sho.
hungry arhhs.
LOL.
gastric pain. ouch.

listening to - ai guo - by penny.
hmms. nice song. (:
ronald horhs?
xD

todae.
do housework.
lols.
*laughs*

went church.
erm.
vv late.
lols.
im becoming the late queen lerhhs.
=x
nice songs. (:

hehs.
emerge!
(:
POS people.
jia you lehhs.

>3 EXTRAORDINARY N28 (:

we are just.
so near. yet so far.

since everything is just all right for you.
then.
i have nothing much more to say. (:

N28 (:

2005-06-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

i >3 EXTRAORDINARY N28 (:

happy burfday (:

2005-06-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

heyy.
(:

happy burfday (:

brandon~
sharon~
samantha~

lols.
grow up le worhhs.
haas.
shook their hands.
except my sis lahhs.
LOL.
i can shake her hands until shuang at home.
xD

ermm.
todae.
lols. went to meet walter.
with. ronald. and constance.
erm.
LOL.
i was late lahhs.
for about.
lols. i dunch noe.
VERY late.
xD
my hse near jp somemore. LOL.
paisehh lahhs.
esp to ronald.
(:
bth of dem waited fer me.
den we went in.
but hehs.
im not the latest worhhs.
is who.
walter lorhhs.
H20.
LOL.
but cannot blame lahhs.
we all live where.
he live where.
he live ard kallang lehhs.
LOL.

den went to eat mos burger.
had a hard tym deciding what to eat.
den ronald say.
SHIRLEY.
warh piang.
LOL.
i oso dunnoe wad to choose ok.
fers tym eating mos burger.
ok. dunch laugh.
xDD
den we talk lorhhs.
erm LOL.
we talked about studies.
not only that.
bout life.
and. erm. school.
interesting topics HORH?
LOL.
private joke. (:
heyy ronald.
ticket to heaven.
(:

den walter need to go off fers.
den we 3 walk ard lorhhs.
went. erm. lols.
dah christian bookshop.
spent quite some time dere.
i simply >3 the place lort.
(:

been looking high and low fer a cross necklace.
found it at dere.
haven buy. deciding to.
(:
see. i >3 dah place.
LOL.

alrights.
walk walk.
den.
i rushed back home.
warhhs.
party zone. so mani people lorhhs.
well.
my sis bday mahhs.
(:

went to jule de hse fer cg meeting.
well.
rawks (:
den sing happy burfday to the june babies.
eat cake again.
LOL.
i eat until i scared liaos.
but nice lahhs.
(:

took a group photo.
mymy.
all chios and handsome.
except me lahhs.
(:

den went home lorhhs.
hehs hehs.

i >3 N28 (:

heyys.
happy happy burfday brother!
dunch cry.
dunch sad.
just.
smile like never before.
im always here.
(:

im not needed.
thanks for telling me that.
(:

emerge 2005.
what are you waiting for.
extraordinary.
(:

shann;

2005-06-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

heyy.
suddenly >3 my blog so much.
hehs. (:

im prepared.
and hey.
i expected it.
i know.
some time later.
you will no longer need me.
so yeahhs.

todayy remedial.
erm. lols.
sat with tiffany.
(:
nice lunch.
wanted to go tuition.
but.
wasnt feeling well.
then talked to my sis's friends.
about how different is primary schh life.
and secondary schh life.
quite fun lahhs.
lols.
i discovered something.
that is.
the younger generation just gets worser.
LOL.
no offence arhhs.
haas.
but they are cute in a way.
just like.
a child of innocence.
(:

i try hard to study.
revise and stuff.
hope.
im able to catch up what i've lost.
lets work hard!
(:

hysc intensive 2005.
haas.
re-living memories 2004.
touching.
nice.
mushy.
hugs and stuff.

will it happen once again in 2005?

i have much more to let go.
sometimes.
nothing just lasts forever.

but when i say forever.
i mean it.
(:

lots of stuff happened.
mostly bad.
dunn wish to blog it out.
neway.
its over.

im happy.
(:

hey.
brother.
maybe tomorrow.
i wont have a chance to say this.
but still.
i wish you here.
a very happy birthday.
i pray you will cheer up soon.
(:

people come and go.
i thank you for making a difference in my life.
i must say.
if you want to go.
its alright.
(:

as i played the songs.
something just came on my mind.

im just here. (:

W4;

2005-05-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

hey.
perhaps.
its just not meant to be.

today.
went to keming primary.
last day for the racial harmony programme.
grouped with. constance. ronald.
GS was walter.
so yeahhs.
had fun.
and yahs.
i will miss them. (:

helio.
im sorry for that time.
you are great!
(:
hannah.
thanks ahh.
LOL.
green fingers!
(:
eunice.
syarita.
shafiq.
ashvin.
wan li.
mith.

oh yeahs.
green hexagon.
30/5 - 31/5
(:

after that.
lols.
we all did smth mad.
we WALKED.
from keming.
all the way. to hua yi.
thats erm.
bukit batok.
to jurong.
(:
nice ok.
lols.
but they want to faint liaos.
cos i purposely shout.
LOL.
plus.
horrible singing. (:
now. no voice.
LOL.
xD

then went jp with ronald.
shared with him the gospel.
yeahhs.
(:
LOL. we two. talked.
like. very long.
(:
ronald horh.
xD

feez.
its fate yahs.
(:

i know im just temporary.
im trying.
to walk away.
(:

shann;

2005-05-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

kai. bu. liao. kou

more than often.
we just.
tend to look back.

but just to find.
emptiness.

that was me.
who searched for long.
but never found.

reminiscence;
whats the use of it.

the gap widens.
to an extent.
none can close it.

holidays.
plenty of studying.
no matter how stressed can it be.
im not afraid.

i must do it.
its a must.

i have to face it.
its a world.
where i dont exist.

who am i.

shann.

2005-05-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

dont wish to say much.

seriously.
i have lost.

if you are making a joke out of me.
congratulations. you have done it.

the more i try to be happy.
the worse you want to make me feel.

whats worse.
you made complications.

what is hope.
and what is faith.

i believed.
i praised.
then what.
more trails ahead.

you can say im lousy.
yes. i am.

im a nuisance.
im a kb person.
im a whole lot worse.

since its that way.
you can never understand.
why i choose to leave.

im a human.
not a robot.
im one with emotions.

why.
why did everything turn out this way.

just by your doing.
everybody collapsed.

just like SHE said.
living a meaningless life.
you might as well dont stay here.
because you dont belong anywhere else on earth.

if you say i can overcome this quickly.
perhaps.
you just dont know me .

who likes to cry and tear everyday.
i hate to.

yet.
the situation forced me to.

her*

2005-04-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

feeling nothing.
dun ask me why.

its in a mess now.
be it.
house.
studies.
blah.
u name it.

i wish to run.
run away.
but can i.

i can nvr understand.

oh yeah.
the workers are doing mah living rm windows.
u noe smth.
i hav a good mind.
to jus jump down frm dere.
cos the new windows haven been fixed up.
(:

well.
i know this will happen.

not dat i can predict the future.
but i know.
wad i hav done.
is done with.
and erased.
its not a portion.
but a whole of it.
it doesnt matter anyway.
none cares.

so be it.

yeah.
running.
cant solve the problem.
the thing is.
its been like this before.
fer 5 years.

after 5 years.
it didnt end jus like that.

and now.
i've tried fer 1 year.
its enuff.
the pain inflicted.
its enuff.

dun say i didnt try.
u dont know me.

dun say u understand.
when u nvr will.

laugh my lungs out.

being a pathetic kid fer so long.
slashed.
cut.

a substitute.
nothing more to that.

i know.
im negative.
yeahh.
the environment made me to.
i didnt choose this way.

perhaps sometimes.
im making a big fuss when im alone.
but tell me.
who likes to be alone.
unless.
u are having your own quiet time.

who dont like.
to mingle with their friends.
who dont wish.
to hav a friend.
whom dey can trust always.
where they are there for you.

tell me. who.

but well.
im used to being alone.
(:

what all of us see.
is the superficial surface.
u nvr see.
wad is hidden inside.

hahs.
trying to be a happy kid.
isnt nice.
dont try to be happy.
when u arent.

wake up girl.
you are alone.
dont live in the happy world.
and hav full of hopes.

only to know.

dey are destroyed by all.

thats the end of her story.

HERO;*

2005-04-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

hmms.
quite long didnt blog lerhh.
cos exams coming mahhs.
denn. busy lorhhs.
okaes.

250405 - 260405
lols. study lorhhs. siann.
> den i go jul de house bath.
xDD
den ahhs.
i nvr do mah hw.
how to do lorhhs.
u cannot even find a space to sit down.
all mah study tables.
become eating table.
fork.spoon.shampoo.
u name it. we hav it. xDD
bo bian lorhhs.
now i go home late late.
xDD

yahhs. todae.
same thing lorhhs.
went jurong spring cc.
dah whole dae.
hees. jus came back.
xDD
waiting fer jul to call.
denn i go bathe.
hen siann lehhs.
at least.
i gort study lerhhs.
(:

hero is a nice song yeahh.
i like it alort.

HERO;

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are

There's an answer
If you reach into your sou
lAnd the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

Chorus
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face your world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold

You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

Chorus

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In timeYou'll find the way

Chorus

long long journey oso nice.
dolphin by the bay.
hope i didnt name the show wrongly.
xDD

okae lahhs.
i go rest lerhh.
vv tired.
mah legs need a rest.

im physcially.
emotionally.
TIRED.

im jus a substitute.
(:

shann; forgotten; retrospect;

forgotten*

2005-04-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

heys.
quite some tym didn blog.

okaes lahhs.
nothing much.

renovation works are starting.
ermm.
next thurs.
lols. yeahhs. 28/4
familiar mahhs.
of cosh. our fers paper.

im worried lahhs.
say dun haf is bluff de lorhhs.
stressed.
i wann to score well.
i must score well.

anyways.
i wun be online often.
or rather.
perhaps not online at all.
cos. i online oso no use liddat.
i away fer whole few hours.
oso nvr talk with anyone.
thus conclusion:
i can sort of.
live w/o msn too =)

anyways.
none cares.
why bother to explain.

well.
mah lyfe is.
studying.

sometyms.
i will sit down.
and do nothing.
but think.
and recall.
teary-eyed.

da damage is done.
i cant judge.
its not fer me too.

hav anyone heard of.
li sheng jie - chi xin jue dui

the lyrics are meaningful bahh.

okae lahhs.
siann lehhs.
renovation works.
sho dirty niahh.
how to sleep.
orh yahhs.
mah frend live near me derh.
say dah temporary toilet in out hse.
is VERY small.
den sometimes.
the door will open derhh.
>lols.
i go mah frend hse bathe.
dats mah plan.
xD
otherwise.
waste tym queuing downstairs.
jus to bathe.
i rather study can.

i feel.
im back to the past.
=)

im walking alone.

mah bolevard of broken dreams;

she is done with and erased.
RETROSPECT;

yeahh.
keep them.
and swallow.
hard.
i know.
accept it.
there is NO choice.

slowly but SURELY;
she is degrading off;

u wont understand.

good luck peeps.
mye coming.
takkaire loads.

ming zhi dao dang ni li kai ta de shi jie bu ke neng hui;
wo hai SHA SHA deng dao QI JI chu xian de na YI TIAN;

ni BU DONG;
wo de qiao cui.

since im redundant.
i will walk away.
(:

shann; forgotten;

child of innocence;*

2005-04-17T19:34:00.000-07:00

todae-
study lorhhs.
went to church.
yahhs.
felt that.
lord spoke again.
well.
i dunch noe how to react.
i only know.
i bowed down sometyms.
during sermon tym.

denn.
went kfc with tina lorhhs.
lols.
we talked lahhs.
=))
her wristband is cool niahh.
keep walking*
god bless her journey to malaysia todae-
xD

went home lorhhs.
watched tv.
denn.
i go find all mah library cards.
LOL.
i thought i lost niahh.
xDD
waited fer mah sis to come home.
turn on dah com.
nthh muchh bahh.
mah main purpose is.
listen songs.
=))
saving grace*
nice xD

yupp.
denn went market.
bought stationaries.
limped home.
-.-..
looked lyk an ah ma liddat.
lols.
well. i look lyk one liaos.
doesnt make any diff.
=))

denn ate lorhs.
leg giving problems niahh.
nbm.
i shall walk lyk normal.
xDD
yahhs.
now watching nkf.
god bless all of dem.
kindly support nkf?

the least christians cld do.
is to pray.
the least people can do.
is to live your life happily.
=))

i blog.
budden looks like.
none see derhh.
lols.
if u got come.
tag can?
xD
if not.
i dun blog often liaos.

exams coming niahh.
i wann to score well.
now i wonder.
perhaps i can go jc.
why not give it a try.
xD

wenn i saw the babies todae;
i was reminded of;
mah childhood;
haas;

SHWEET INNOCENCE;*
part of a child;

somehow;
i wish;
im jus a small kid;

=)

erased;

MUNCHALICIOUS; *

2005-04-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

ermm.
todae hen siann.
lols.
in dah morning.
wanted take taxi.
alrites.
im NOT rich yeahh.
> cos mah leg.
and mah books.
LOL.
xD

budden anyways.
didnt manage to hail one lorhhs.
in dah end.
SQUEEZED onto 187.
=))

reached schh later den usual lorhhs.
hmms.
den peeps say.
mus hand in CRE todae.
well. i haven done lorhhs.
> <
after schh i alot of things to do.
was feeling kinda.
fustrated i guess.

had one period of maths.
time files;
i failed mah amaths log test.
budden.
surprise.surprise.
i got better.
den i expected.
hallelujah.
=)

den 2 periods of chem lorhhs.
seems like.
time crawls.
LOL.
xD
denn.
PE.
audrey;
heng arhhs.
todae no PE.
xDD

wahas~
1 hr and 5 min of recess.
dunch hab phy.
=)
budden im worried.
how much i got.
fer mah test lorhhs.
=x

mah chem test.
pass btw.
=))
heng~

den is 2 periods of amaths.
oso quite fast bahhs.
denn.
red cross.
lols.
i am not good with words lahhs.
so i hab much difficulty.
teaching the sec one kids.
FOOTDRILL.
>
not bad larhhs. jia you yeahhs.
=))

was late fer remedial.
shorrie mdm lye!

haas.
denn de two bois.
ask me do ray diagrams.
LOL.xD
den 3.30
went down red cross again.

saw NCC.
lols.
dah NCCs are there.
LOL.
xDD

denn.
sec 1s first aid mahhs.
sec 2 and 3 dunch nid.
denn i saw jeanette.
den i pei her lorhhs.
=))
had a hearty talk wif her lahhs.
xD

den went mama shop.
after dat.
went back 3E3.
ying quan. roxanne. audrey. samuel.
denn i do mah CRE lorhhs.
dat tym was bout 5 plus le bahhs.

finished mah CRE going to 6 liddat.
ying quan still doing.
> <.
after dat.
went home lorhhs.
saw jowell dey all on dah way.

went home.
BIANG ehhs.
something happened lorhhs.
it freaked me out ok.
im scared lorhs.
how come will happen liddat.
hais.
anyways.
we live in an imperfect. broken down world.
ups and downs are BOUND to happen.
sometimes;
fer no obvious reason.
obstacles will jus kip on cuming.
and u cant hide;

worried lorhs.
another problem.
im really tired le lorhhs.
mah leg how.
pain lyk siow.
if not ok by mon.
i mati liaos can.

i noeadays.
mah spine or back.
suddenly will hab.
SHARP pain.
walaos.
like needle niahhs.
poke and POKE.
in between lessons somemore.
> <..

tired liao lorhhs.
i wun think of dying le bahh.
as someone said.
the more u think of dying.
the more u WUN die.

den dun think lorh.
maybe in tis wae.
u will die naturally.
xD

i hope the incident.
dun happen again lorhs.
otherwise.
i dunch noe how i will react liaos.

unsafe in mah hse.
i wun be so free the next few weeks liaos.
mah exams;
den maybe.
i move hse lorhhs.
cos mah hse.
doing renovation works.
=))
it starts on 280405.
same dae.
as languages paper 1.

wad is there fer me tml.
i wonder.
i came into your life.
yet i guess.
i only gave nightmares.
jus lyk i give anybody else.

dats why.
i didnt leave any.
footprints your life.
i noe.
its ERASED;

shann;
all sums up to nothing;

god bless you;

MUNCHALICIOUS; *

2005-04-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

changed mah blogskin lerhh.
nice mahhs?
do tag horhs.
xD

130405

lols.
i lost mah general blue file.
i thought i put in schh.
den i go sc rm find.
dunch hab.
walaos.
scared lorhhs.
ALL mah workshts can.
heartpain niahh.
somemore gort exco photo ok.

denn whole dae very sad lorhhs.
i dunch noe how to account to mdm lye.
cos most of the wkshts.
are maths.
denn whole day looked fer mah file.
hmms. still cannort find lorhhs.
sadded-

den afternoon.
i stae back in schh lorhhs.
do mah maths.
6+ me still in schh.
lols.
i was alone lahhs.
denn i think.
maybe general office hab lehhs.
but i didnt hab much hope.
cos mr lee helped me earlier on.
and dey sae dunch hab.
hmms.
i still went in thou.
den i ask the clerk.
"hi. erm. did anyone manage to hav found a blue file"
den she sae. blue box only.
den she let me see lorhhs.
LOL.
is mah file lai derhh.
xD
im so happy niahh.
she sae VP found it.
lols.
heng siahh.
i was laughing as i came out.
saw mr lee in staff rm.
den told him lorhhs.
lols.
=))

actually.
i was sad.
not only becos of the file lahhs.
hmms.
blahh*

140405

todae dunch hab schh.
xD
todae is sports day.
PLUS.
international frendship dae.
hmms.
kai sone;
happy frendship dae yeahhs;
god bless you;

den SC do the kite thingy lorhhs.
den i walk ard.
lols.
SC todae all wear BLACK.
the blackies.
LOL.
vv hot niahh.
and mah shirt.
is big lorhhs.
lols.
the medium is smth lyk.
large.
> <
lols. den SC sent 2 teams to run.
one team boy.
one team girl.
fer inter-CCA relay.
thou nvr win anything.
budden dey are really good ok.
xDD
dey 2nd last can become 4th or 5th.
not bad le lorhhs.
*applause*

denn.
dismissal liao lerhh.
was in search of.
KAI TING.
diao lorhhs.
i kept looking.
lols.
and i finally found her.
> <
denn.
waited fer NCC.
lols.
4 NCC and 2 RC.
lols.
me and kai ting were macham.
following dem.
lols.
den dey wann.
take taxi.
lols.
RICH NIAH
xD

go jp niahh.
take taxi.
lols.
pro xD

denn 3 NCC took 1 taxi.
me.kaiting.1 NCC.
took another one.
lols.
we were sort of competing.
which taxi will reach jp fers.
LOL.
their taxi went off fers lorhs.
BUT.
our taxi drove faster.
xDD

funnie siahh.
LOL.
denn.
went makan lorhs.
ben lai de purpose is.
dey treat us.
becos.
we helped NCC.
xD
in the end.
lols.
me and kaiting paisehh.
den we buy our food.
=))
cos ahhs.
the taxi fare.
NCC pay.
xDD

lols.
had kfc lorhhs.
nice~
saw sarah etc.
=))

den horhs.
lols.
we actually separate de lahhs.
den i went to life bkshop lorhhs.
kai ting was on the phone.
wen i came out.
she's with the NCC.
outside cinema dere.
LOL.
den she told me.
dey treat watch movie.
i was lyk. good fer u lorhhs.
den i say. okaes.
i go off fers?
lols.
at tis tym.
many NCC came.
junior lai derhh.
LOL.
den dey ask me oso.
wann to watch anot.
den i shui biann lorhhs.
okaes.
den they treat me niahh.
LOL.
good ehh.
got one vv rich derhh.
xDD

okae lorhhs. den still got tym.
we go walk walk.
these guy ahhs.
all go the sports shop derh.
den me pei kaiting.
she wann chg to pe-shirt.

den walk lorhhs.
den i vv siann.
was outside the cinema.
AGAIN.
> <
lols.
i saw XINNI.
xDD
zoey;
xinyi;
seok min;
and one more girl.
forgot who is it lerhh.
paisehh.

lols.
den i went wif dem fers.
LOL.
xDD
denn walk basement lorhhs.
nice ~
den was going up da escalator.
saw yi liang and one boi.
lols.
dah boi suddenly gave me dah plastic bag.
den i thought.
mus be ask me throw away derh.
-.-
LOL.
den yi liang sae.
got one more sushi lahhs.
i give u eat.
xD
i dun believe him.
LOL.
den i see inside.
lols.
really hab ahhs~
hannah.
thanks horhhs.
xD

den went to 3rd floor.
cinema again.
LOL.
dey hurry me niahh.
LOL.
den i ask.
so fast mehhs.
i though 2.30.
dey sae. can go in earlier de mahhs.
LOL.

den dey buy popcorn.
drinks lorhhs.
lols.
we sit dere.
den waited.
denn.
went in lorhhs.
xDD

LOL.
hmms.

6 - yung meng
7 - NCC
( i dunch noe how spell his name.
wei loong i think. xD)
8- kai ting
9- ME xD
10- meng chen
( i osho dunch noe how spell his name.
LOL xD)
11- NCC
12- NCC

haas. i think still hab bahhs.
dats all fer mah row i guess.
xD
its cinema num 3 btw.
=))

fers cinema i watch niahh.
as in.
during i grow up dat period of tym.

xDD
guess wad we watch.
THE PACIFIER;

LOL.
funnie siahh.
sho many commercials.
den the popcorn is like.
finishing.
BEFORE the show.
even started.
xDD
i told dah NCC.
finishing liao lehhs.
show oso haven start.
LOL.
he say.
haiyahhs.
later wenn show starts liaos.
cannot finish derhh.
LOL.

denn horhs.
yi liang dey all oso watch.
LOL.
xD
dey sat in front.
haas~

nice lorhhs.
funnie derhh.
its bout.
one soldier.
become babysitter.
xDD

nice siahh.
ending oso touching.
=))

den after dat.
went home lorhhs.
xD
took 187.
wif kai ting.
and NCC.
xD

i was dah fers to go off.
of cos lahhs.
2 stops niahh.
=))

thanks fer dah treat horhs.
v generous niahh.
de rest of NCCs arhhs.
dey took TAXI.
LOL.
taxi AGAIN.

rich horhhs.
LOL.

go home.
vv tired liaos.
mah mum rm not open.
mah sis haven cum bck.
denn i slept.
lols.

den open door lerhs.
i came in and blog.
=))
changed mah blogskin too.
lazy to update dah links.
and profile.
xD

will do it.
wenn im free.
xD

kae lahhs.
i go revise mahh work.
exams coming niahh.
nervous*

=))
thank god.
i found mah file back.
thank god.
fer letting me know.
u dunch care at all.

all sums up to.
NOTHING; *

happie burfdae xD

2005-04-12T21:05:00.000-07:00

lols.

happie 15th burfdae!

hui xin ( sec 2)
khamisah;
richie;
samuel;

BEST WISHES;

oh yeahhs.
3 3E3'ians bdae same dayy.
lols.
fate ehhs.
xD

todae.
got chin test.
lols. mah chin cher set derh.
diao. tough niahh.
okok lahhs.
LOL.
xP

had a period of chem.
den went to staff rm.
lols.
small ronald say im lyk dancing.
cos. i help ppl call fer chers mahhs.
lols. farnie lahhs he.
lols. ronald ahhs.
u ask me leave one piece fer u.
den u nvr come.
-.-..
haas.
den.
no cher came.
i called ms wan.
den i rushed in.
chiong ahh~

lols.
went sc rm
paiseh niahh.
dey all sitting down dere lerhh.
i bought fruit fan cake.
lols.
heng arh.
everyone ate it.
LOL.
i noe why.
cos healthy mahhs.
xP

den not bad lorhhs.
alright.
im proud to say.
3E3 won 3E2 fer soccer
xD
4: 1
overall.
haas. yi liang scored 2 ?
hannah. u clever lahhs.
LOL.

todae.
nice lahhs.
tml.
e maths test.
oh yeahh.
mah a maths.
watch me flunk it.
lols.
confirm derhh.

logarithms.
one word.
LOL.

exams coming lerhh.
siann.

hais.
god bless you lahhs.

currently listening to;
gui ji;
jay;

i love it;

xD

oh yah!
happie burfdae SHI HUI;
hope u lyk the present yeahhs.

xD
pray hard.

shirley*
120405

me. mahself. and i .

2005-03-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

wednesday - 020305 -

its mah fault.
i never want it to be.

i play too much.
i joke too much.

in a result.
i lost all.

maybe u hav given up.
i am still dangling there.
my hope is fading fast.

i won give up.
but.
i m really tired.

avoiding.
strangers.

i have given you nightmares.
i am sorry.
erase me off ur memory.
if that will make u happier.

u r one of the pieces of my puzzle.
that i cant afford to lose.

its mah thinking.
i am naive.

i give you back your freedom.
now that u r free.
u will live happier.

i respect ur decision.
unwillingly.
i am left with no choice.

in the middle of breaking down.
i cant stop.
i continue to dwell on it.

its impossible.
not to think about it.
i hav tried. HARD.

to you.
i probably seem.
i dun care.

but.
i care.
i really care.
what about you.

i felt - words jus couldnt describe -

perhaps.
its meant to be.
its showing me something.

i keep everything inside mahself.

u can say.
i will burst like a balloon.

maybe i will.
maybe i will just rot.

none noes my ending.

its me.
me.
me.

send guidance from above i pray.

left alone.