Saturday, February 19, 2005
2005 .
retarded retardie. dat is me.
you took what i did for
granted.you dont appreciate. you lied.
dont say what you
dont mean.
its not i dont believe.its
hard to believe.
if you never took wad i did for granted. den it goes to show.
i am
not even a
friend.
i am
worse.
it goes to show.
i helped
nothing.
and you dont bother to appreciate.
you said dat.
is just to say. but
not sincere.
you
only remember me as a friend.
when you need help.
when they dont want you.
who am i to you.i can answer dat.
a
toy. a toy to be
toyed around.
a
robot. to be
ordered around.
i
dont believe.
i lie to myself.
but you have
proven. simply by jus ur actions.
wad am i to my friends.
a
tool.
a
toy.
u can
use me
whenever u like.
whenever u wish. whenever u want.after u dont need me.
dats it man.
i am
gone in ur memory.
why am i
always the one left out in ur memory.
why.
you took wad i did for granted again.
didnt you.
another one.
you said how important i am.
i know its
not true.
i kept quiet.
you not in great mood.
den u say i give u attitude.
u say. i look at you as if u owe me ur life.
or even. ur past life.
what did i do.
i was standing dere.
looking around.
though with no smiles.
but i am not angry.
u know it.
u said it in a tone.
u dun want me to be around.
once ur friends are there.
i am supposed to be gone.
can i
act blur.
no.
dere is
not even a chance.
to be blur.
dont u feel dat.
our gap is
so big now.
dat even the memories.
will
fade.
u live ur own way.
i live mine.
is that what we call best friends.
dont make me out to be important.
cos i am
not.in your heart.
ur gang is much more important.
much more.
dey are your piority.
i am not saying.
i want you always to pei me.
no.
i know u've got ur own friends.
i respect that.
u expect me to go with ur friends.
sure. i gladly oblige.
but wad happens.
i am left out.i am left alone.i am left abandoned.like a
retardie.and u will begin to say.
why u look so sad.
shows that.
u dont know me.
again.
its me.
i self-proclaim.you all are my best.dats only on my part. i thought in your shoes.
have u thought in mine.
u said u did.
but u did not.
i know.
becos i am
very.very sensitive.
i am emotional.
i can sense.
i am very.
very sensitive.
its not me thinking too much.dats always ur excuse. always. i told u i am
not.tis is true.
u dun bother.u dun care.wad i say.
u dun bother to listen.
u scold me.
wen i say bad comments bout ur best friend.
everyone has bad points.
not everyone is perfect.
u wan comments.
i give you.
den i ended up.
looking like a fool.
u wan me to talk it out.
how. tell me.
i barely talk to you more den 5 sentences.
den zoom.
you are gone.
how u expect me to talk.
wen u took wad i did for granted.
wen i am not even ur friend.
so in wad capacity should i talk tis with you.
nothing.
lyk i hav said.
i am not even a friend.
not even a friend you treasure.
i treat all of you as my best.
i gave everything i could.
i know.
i am not the best.
i am not rich.
i am ugly.
wen u go out with me.
you will feel inferior.
i know.
i understand.
i am not rich.
i cant give you nice stuffs.
but i only know.
i am sincere.
with every word i say.
wen i say its forever.
i mean it.
i wan these friendships to last.
but can i.wen i am only claiming.shirley is a lamer. shirley is a retard.shirley is a sadist.shirley is bad. yeahhs.
i
am bad.i am
never.never good to start with.
u say. but dats not wad u think.
none can see the real me.
wen i say i understand.
i truly understand.
i mean wad i said.
but u didnt believe.
u think my life is.
friends all over the school.
when it is not.
dey are my
self-proclaimed friends.
i am proud to say u all are my best.
you all are my sunshine.
but sad to say.
i am jus a teeny weeny retard to you.
wad can i do.
i can only stare.
i can only cry.
alone.
i can only act.
act everything is perfect.
smile as if nothing happens.
and walk away.
and pretend.
its not hurting.
tormentous childhood.
sadistic. teenage life.
how much can it get worse.
how much more.
can i tolerate.
how much more can i hold on.
if being with me is so annoying.
den leave.
i have nothing to hold you all back.
its always been this way.
isnt it.
retarded retardie 05 .
BANGBANG